"I want to go back to my old ways." Ezra said in a monotone. It felt like he held no emotion. I stood dumbfounded not knowing what to do?
"I tried you know, it's been eleven fucking months we're dating and I still can't expct anything from you to pl...
"I want to go back to my old ways." Ezra said in a monotone. It felt like he held no emotion. I stood dumbfounded not knowing what to do.
"I tried you know, it's been eleven fucking months we're dating and I still can't expect anything from you to pleasure me." He said. Is this what our relationship was all about? I thought to myself. Still didn't have the guts to say anything.
"How the hell can I want you Leila? You're own mother didn't even want you." As soon as those words came out of his mouth, I felt like something died inside of me that day. 'My own mother didn't even want me.'
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"You thought you changed me but you're wrong. You can never change me. No one can. I'm not your love sick puppy. I've decided to move on and so should you."
So all the time we spent with each other, all this time he actually felt nothing? I was just a new chew toy for him? I asked to myself. I wanted to ask him out loud but for some reason I couldn't find my voice. I felt the lump in my throat increasing as I tried to sallow the humiliation, anger, pain and an unbearable urge to scream.
I just stood there starring at him in awe. The guy whom I trusted with my problems was pretending the whole time. Pretending what exactly? To like me? Love me? Why the hell on earth anyone would do that?
All he wanted was to get physical with me. But that's another story, what I couldn't figure out was why would he did this in front of entire school? Sure we had a little argument yesterday night but that could not be the reason for this.
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"Fuck" Someone said beside me breaking my chain of thoughts and that's when I saw. Sophie and Ezra kissing right in front of whole student body and teachers. WOW! I thought to myself. That asshole didn't waste any time. All this time it was right in front of me and I still couldn't put my finger on what was wrong.
Never in my life am I falling in love with a player I take a vow silently cursing myself for being so naïve. I knew very well that Ezra wanted some sort of reaction from me... anything. Everyone was waiting for my next move. Will I cry like a little girl or maybe bash him for being a jerk, maybe call Sophie a mega slut. But I'm not going to let him have that pleasure or anyone else by letting myself being degraded to their level. I know better than to give in, I know better than to create an unnecessary scene. I held my head high, and with as much grace as I could muster; I silently walked out of the gym that was so beautifully decorated for the homecoming.
I practically ran towards the parking lot, which was hard considering I was in high heels; something I rarely wore. I couldn't let anyone see tears falling down my cheeks ruining my eye makeup. Almost tripping on the pavement I let out a little sigh as I walked faster.
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I was about to open my car when I heard Chase behind me. "Leila" he called out.
Chase was Ezra's best friend since their diaper days. I could see the shock in his face as much as every other student I was so blatantly humiliated in front of. His green eyes searching my brown one's as if he was trying to say something to me but nothing came out of his mouth.
"Leila..." He said again in an apologetic tone.
"Chase...I really need to get out of here right now." I said while getting inside the car.
"I guess I'll see you later. Good night." With that I took off from school's parking lot with a song blasting on the radio so I couldn't hear myself cry.
I soon reached home. I went straight to my bedroom. Slammed the door shut. I walked in my walk in closet, and gave a disgusting look to the girl standing in front of the mirror.
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I looked at the black satin dress as tears started to blur my vision. Taking it off as I sobbed gently I then went to bathroom turn the shower on as I tried to wash every emotion I had.
How desperately I was hoping that I could be invincible to the pain. I couldn't even comprehend what happened, how did things turn out like this? How did a night that was supposed to be magical turned out to be so disastrous?
After what felt like eternity, I turned the shower off. Wrapping a towel around my body I closed the bathroom door behind me as I went to my room. I stood there in mirror again starring at myself.
"Where did I go wrong?" I asked myself out loud.
After all he did I still couldn't bring myself to hate him. And that was killing me. The situation was almost comical that I could laugh. Getting dumped on my homecoming seemed like a good way to say goodbye to the hellhole high school. But it was more than that, I could feel it as much as everyone else. It felt like whatever Ezra did was out of spite and he wanted to make sure I got hurt.
