Red vs Blue Season 2: Male Oc

Rvb S2 E17 "Nut. Doonut."

Blue Base
Caboose and Tucker are watching Sheila and Lopez from the top of Blue Base.

Tucker: Man, Lopez and Sheila have been spending a lot of time together.

Caboose: I don't like it. He is not good enough for my Sheila.

Tucker: But they seem happy together.

Caboose: He is a bad influence and he is taking advantage of her because she is young and naive...and delicate.

Tucker: Delicate? She weighs like 200 tons, dude.

Caboose: She is a precious flower.

Tucker approaches Sheila and Lopez.

Tucker: Hey guys, I have to ask you a favor. This might sound strange, but I think Caboose is getting kind of jealous of your relationship.

Caboose: (from a distance) Sheila! Come back to me! I made you a muffin!

Tucker: Anyway, could you just try to keep a low profile or something? We don't want some weird, horribly disgusting love triangle.

Sheila: Tucker, I've been speaking with Lopez, and we feel that the machine has been treated unfairly in this canyon.

Tucker: What're you talking about?

Sheila: On a regular basis, we are either being blown up, possessed by spirits, or just left out to rust.

Tucker: Huh?

Sheila: We have decided that until conditions improve, we are not going to help you in your battles.

Tucker: You're kidding, right?

Sheila: (barrel pointing right at Tucker's face) Do I look like I'm kidding?

Red Base
Sarge: It's very simple. We use a flea flicker maneuver with a run and gun two by two approach, tactical ops will be... aw hell, who am I kidding? Grif, Donut, just go stand in the way of their bullets while me, Leo and Simmons 2.0 sneak around back to grab Lopez.

Donut: Sounds like a plan!

Grif: No it doesn't! How about this time we try something that doesn't involve me being shot at or run over.

Simmons: Would electrified be okay?

Grif: No!

Leo: How about being my personal meat shield?

Grif: Hell no!

Leo: Well then, got anymore ideas Simmons?

Simmons: I've ran out of ideas.

Grif: Look, instead of running straight into enemy gunfire like we usually do, why don't we try some reconnaissance this time?

Donut: You mean like spy stuff? That would be cool! I could wear a spy tuxedo-

Sarge: No.

Donut: -with a hidden spy camera-

Simmons: No.

Donut: -inside a tiny spy bow-tie-

Grif: No.

Donut: -or, I could wear a flower on my lapel-

Leo: Dear god no!

Donut: -that sprays water in people's faces-

Sarge: Shut up Donut.