Rvb S2 E9 "In Stereo Where Available"

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Red Base
Sarge gets in the Warthog's driver's seat, Simmons mans the turret gun and Leo jumps in the passenger seat.

Simmons: Alright, hit it!

To Sheila who the Reds drive past.

Middle of Canyon
To Church coughing from the smoke caused by the grenade exploding.

Ghost Church: What the he-? (cough) Who tried to blow me up with a grenade? ...And why am I coughing? I don't have lungs.

The Warthog flies over him.

Sarge: Yeehaw! Ride 'em, cowboy!

Leo: Woohooo!!!

Church backs away.

Simmons: Hey, Sarge, (leaping from the Warthog) hold on a sec! (Warthog comes to a stop) Did you see something weird, Sarge? (Sarge exits the jeep)

Sarge: Yes, I did. Once, when I was a small child, I saw a man, who claimed to be my uncle, do this thing with a garden hose that still haunts me to thi-

Simmons: Whoa whoa whoa, I meant did you see something weird just now. Like five seconds ago.

Sarge: Oh. Then no.

Leo: What was all that stuff about your uncle and the garden hose?

Sarge: I keep telling everyone he wasn't my uncle! He wasn't!

Simmons: ...You wanna talk about it?

Sarge: Just get back in the damn jeep. (he gets back in)

Leo: New rule Simmons, let's not ask Sarge about his childhood.

Simmons: Agreed.

To Tucker and Caboose approaching Lopez and aiming their weapons at him.

Tucker: Hold it right there, hombre! (to Caboose) I told you throwing that grenade through the teleporter would work! Church is gonna be so impressed.

Caboose: And Sheila will love me again, and this time for who I am and not just for my stunning good looks. But for those too.

Lopez: >Damn these blue bastards. They really are as stupid as they look.<

O'Malley: (to Lopez) Your soul is a cavern of lies!

Tucker: What the hell are you two talking about?

Lopez: >You may have won this round, but your cruel reign of tyranny will be short lived. The red people will be avenged--<

Tucker: Yeah yeah yeah, nobody cares. We need you to fix our tank.

Lopez: >Never will I work for the enemy. May a pox be upon your soul and your house.<

In Lopez's POV/HUD. SAP can be seen in the upper right corner of his visor. In the middle of his visor, red text appears: PRIMARY OBJECTIVES

FIX EVERYTHING
HATE THE ORANGE ONE
CALL MOM MORE OFTEN

Lopez: >Long have my people suffered, but very soon we will see the coming of a new day. The dawn of our time is near, and when the darkness befalls your people the workers of the field will know that this is their moment.<

Tucker: Man, I thought Church talked too much. You think if I kick him in the switch he'll shut up?

Caboose: Um, Tucker I think that maybe we should begin the going of the running now! (whispering loudly, clearly panicky) The fast running!

Tucker: (sees the Reds off screen) Oh crap!

To Simmons manning the Warthog's turret.

Sarge: Hold your fire there, Simmons. This is payback time.

Simmons: Go for it, sir!

Leo: Time to make some smashed blue berry!

Sarge: That's the spirit Leo!

To Caboose and Tucker.

Tucker: That's right, we're just casually strolling away. (he starts backing up) No cause for concern...

Caboose: Running time! (he runs away)

Tucker: Nice and casual! Moron! (the two run around in circles before they are able to orient themselves, then they head toward Blue Base)

Lopez: (watching them run) >Yes, yes, run away, you cowardly dogs. Be it known that the great Lopez has won this day and...<

To the Warthog driving toward Lopez.

Simmons: Aim for that guy right in the middle, Sarge!

Sarge: Way ahead of ya, Simmons!

Leo: Next time, be less shy dude!

Lopez: (turns around) >What is happening?<

In Lopez's HUD, a beeping noise starts as red text appears in the middle of his visor: SYSTEM OVERRIDE PROTOCOL. REMOTE DESTRUCT SEQUENCE

Lopez: >You have given me no choice.<

The HUD changes text to read: ACTIVATED

Simmons: We've got you now, you blue bastard!

Leo: Hey, do you guys hear a strange beeping sound?

Suddenly the Warthog explodes just before reaching Lopez. It launches into the air, flipping over backward twice before landing. To Caboose and Tucker running up to Lopez.

Lopez: (speaking to Sarge and Leo) >I'm sorry, father and Leo.<

Tucker: Alright! Not bad, robot dude!

Caboose: I knew he would save us. I knew it! Robot people always like me. ..It's because of my awesome dancing.

Lopez: >My spirit is broken. My people have betrayed me and now all is lost. Do with me what you will...<

Tucker: Yeah, okay, man. Can you just shut up and fix our tank?

Caboose: Dancing time!

Lopez: >The heart of this warrior cries out in sorrow. Why does this one mock me with his foolish dancing? Are those moves supposed to make him look like a robot? They do not. I am offended by this.<

Caboose: Dancing time!

The End
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