Stephanie in Theoryland: A GTLive Fanfic

Chapter III: A Go-Kart Race

THEY were indeed a strange-looking party that assembled on the shore- Stephanie, the toads, the dinosaur, the ape, the princess, and the plumbers- all dripping wet, frustrated, and uncomfortable. Their first order of business, of course, was how to get dry again; they had a discussion about this, and after a few minutes it felt natural for Steph to be talking with them, as if she had known them for much longer than just the time they had spent in the pool.

At last, the plumber in red, who Stephanie knew right away to be Mario, took charge. "I-a think-a we should-a have a go-kart-a race."

"You're-a right, Mario. That-a would-a be the best-a way-a to get-a us dry-a," added Luigi, the other plumber.

"A go-kart race! That sounds like fun," squeaked Princess Peach, still trying to wring out her long pink dress.

The others quickly agreed and began to arrange themselves, but Stephanie was confused. "How are we supposed to have a go-kart race," she called, "without any go-karts?"

The rest of the group looked at her like she had just spoken in complete gibberish. "Just watch and do what we do," said Toad.

The process of having a go-kart race may have made sense to these other creatures, but to Stephanie it looked like utter nonsense. First, Mario marked out a racecourse, then everyone began taking bit of the ground and shoreline to build go-karts and motorbikes. Upon closer inspection, Stephanie noticed that the landscape around them wasn't actually a real landscape at all, but a Minecraft-like world of building blocks. It didn't seem to look anything like the land she had seen through the tiny door, but maybe she was simply remembering it incorrectly. Stephanie walked over and touched the grass just next to the shoreline. A piece broke off in a perfect building block shape. She hastily began to build herself a go-kart.

When it was time to start the race, there was no "On your marks, get set, go!" Instead, everyone began taking off and driving in different directions, so there was no way of knowing when the race would be over or who would win. At first, Stephanie tried to make sense of the game, but she eventually gave up and just made it a point to not get herself killed. (Donkey Kong seemed adamant to run her over.) When they had been driving around for a half-hour or so, and were once again dry, Mario called out, "The race is-a over!" Everyone crowded around, asking, "Who is the winner?"

No one had a good answer for this, until Peach spoke up. "Maybe everyone has won, and we can all have a prize!"

"But who should give the prizes," inquired Yoshi.

"She should, of course," Peach replied, pointing right at Stephanie.

Stephanie had no idea what to do, and in desperation she put her hands in her pockets, digging out a few wrapped pieces of chocolate that she had been eating earlier during work. (Luckily, they had not been ruined by the water.) She passed the chocolates around to everyone.

"But-a you must-a also have a prize-a," exclaimed Luigi. "What else-a do you have-a in your-a pocket?"

Stephanie examined her pockets again. "I have a quarter, but that's all."

"Here," Peach said, holding out her hand. Stephanie handed over the quarter as the rest of the group gathered around them. "Please accept this quarter as your prize." Everyone cheered as Stephanie took the quarter back.

Steph thought this whole thing was completely ridiculous, but they all looked so serious that she did not dare to laugh, and simply took the quarter and put it back in her pocket. As she did this, everyone began to sit down and eat their chocolates. I might have wanted to eat those later, Stephanie thought begrudgingly. I guess I do have more to eat at home. If I ever get back home, that is.

She sat and listened for a while as her companions shared stories about adventures they had gone on together: Princess Peach being kidnapped by Bowser, Mario and Luigi going on several quests to rescue her, Toad and Yoshi's innumerable experiences in the Mushroom Kingdom.

I wish Matthew were here to listen to all of this, she thought. He would love hearing all of their stories. He's spent so much time researching them and playing their games; the chance to get to talk to them in person would be incredible for him. And maybe if he got the chance, it might change his mind about Mario being a sociopath or Toad actually being an alien race taking over the bodies of the kingdom's citizens...

Stephanie looked around suddenly and realized that the entire group was staring at her. A sinking feeling set in: she had been so lost in thought; she hadn't realized that she had accidentally said the last part out loud.

"So-sociopath-a?" Poor Mario had tears in his eyes.

Toad looked half-shocked, half-infuriated. "Who's Matthew? And why does he think he knows so much about us?"

Stephanie's face flushed and she barely managed to stammer, "Oh... Matthew's my husband. He- he's a gamer and a Youtuber. He researches and writes theories about people... well, people like you. I guess some of his theories have been... less than pleasant. But he doesn't mean any harm by it, really. Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

Princess Peach, suddenly looking rather menacing, got up and approached Stephanie. "You said he is your husband? Well, do YOU also write these so-called 'theories?'"

Stephanie felt her face growing warmer by the second. She looked around at the group, their faces an uncomfortable mix of anger, concern, and shock. She finally managed to choke out a half-hearted, "Yes."

This caused a commotion among the party. The toads began scurrying off at once; Peach, Yoshi, and Luigi took running off down the shoreline, and Donkey Kong lumbered away into the distant forest. Soon it was only Stephanie and Mario left together.

"You just-a watch-a yourself, miss! Theories like-a yours don't-a last-a long here!" With that, he too ran away, following his brother and the princess.

"I should never have mentioned Matthew," Stephanie said to herself in a melancholy tone. "Nobody seems to like him down here, and I'm sure he's the best person in the world! I wonder if I'll ever see him again!" Poor Stephanie, feeling very lonely and low-spirited, began to cry again. However, she soon heard footsteps in the distance, and she looked up, half hoping that Toad or Peach had changed their minds and were coming back for her.