problematic

chapter fourteen

Maya had woken up to the faint sound of birds, the sunlight spilling into the room from the curtains and immediately blinding her when she had opened her eyes.

She groaned, turning her head to bury it into the pillow—which pounded relentlessly even from the small movement.

A familiar scent of fresh pine filled her nose as she sniffed the cotton of the pillowcase and she rose her head with wide eyes, finding a sleeping Lucas next to her.

"Fuck," Maya whispered, grimacing when her head hit the pillow again.

She needed to pee really badly, and the only way to relieve that was to climb over him to get to the bathroom—but she didn't want to wake him up.

Maya sucked in a breath, slowly raising herself into a crouching position. She glanced at him, stealthily placing her leg over his and onto the ground. Her hand was on the edge of the mattress, holding herself up so she was hovering over him.

Lucas stirred a bit and she froze in her tracks, stilling her legs as to not touch him. When she was sure that he was still asleep, she pulled her other leg with her and finally touched the ground.

Maya tiptoed to the door and out into the hallway. Just as she was approaching the bathroom door, the lights shut off and Lisa came out of it, a startled look on her face as she was greeted by an unexpected guest.

"Hi," Maya's eyes widened.

"Maya? What are you doing here?" Lisa glanced to the left at Lucas' open bedroom door and gave her a once over, realization dawning on her face as she looked at the big shirt. "Oh."

"I—It's not what you think."

"It's fine, Maya." Lisa smiled warmly, nodding reassuringly. "I'm off to work, but," she leaned in a little. "There are condoms in the bathroom cabinet, please help yourselves."

She then walked away, leaving Maya speechless and red-faced in the hallway. "Oh my god." Maya muttered to herself before going into the bathroom to take care of her business.

When she returned to his bedroom, she shut the door quietly before turning around to collect her clothes and belongings and hightail it out of there. Maya had only found Lucas awake and sitting on the bed.

"Morning." He greeted her, a sleepy smile stretched across his face. His hair was tousled from sleeping and he looked so fucking cute.

"Did you sleep well?" Maya asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Not really." Lucas covered his mouth as he let out a big yawn.

"Why?"

He shrugged, walking over to his desk to check his phone. "Something kept me up."

Maya ambled towards him. "What?"

Lucas put his phone down and paused momentarily, staring blankly at his desk before facing her. "Do you by any chance remember anything that happened last night?" He averted his gaze, fiddling with a pen on his desk.

She glanced down nervously. "Not really. I was pretty drunk, so I don't remember a lot."

"Oh." Lucas furrowed his brows, looking at the pen quite intensely. "Oh," he repeated quietly, dejectedly dropping it before sitting on his bed.

He'd really thought that she would remember—despite the fact that she had been wasted and practically half asleep—every part of that kiss felt real.

And it was, but Maya didn't want to complicate things, so she did the thing she did best; lie about her feelings.

"Why did you get drunk in the first place?" He asked.

"Missy invited me, so I went." Maya shrugged.

"You don't just go to parties randomly, Maya. Something happened." Lucas prodded her.

She ran her hands over her face, deeply sighing. "I didn't tell you about the dinner, because..." She shifted her weight to her other foot. "Because it never happened."

"You didn't go?" Lucas stood up from the bed, walking closer to her.

"No. He didn't." She bit the inside of her cheeks. "I went but he never showed up, and I haven't heard from him since."

"What? Did you try contacting him? Maybe it was a misunderstanding, maybe—"

"It wasn't a misunderstanding." Maya sharply said. "He just—he didn't want to meet me, I guess."

She began walking back and forth around his room. "It's funny how that email he sent me was all I could think about for days. It took me so long to make a final decision—and he couldn't even show up." Maya halted her pacing and looked down at her feet. "I mean, I should have seen it coming—that's on me. I shouldn't have agreed to go. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up." Her shaky hands closed into fists. "I've gotten the rug pulled out from under me so many times, you'd think that I had already learned my lesson."

Her words cracked his heart—but Lucas knew that Maya wasn't completely hopeless. There was still a glimmer of optimism in her eyes, though her mouth told a different story.

"Hey, don't blame this on yourself." Lucas stepped forward. "You showed up and it took a lot of courage."

"Yeah, and I ended up falling on my face."

He took her hands in both of his. "Your father doesn't know what he's lost—anybody would be crazy to not want you in their life." His eyes were on her, earnest and tender.

"I have so much anger inside of me, Lucas." Maya closed her eyes and a tear came out, but she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand. "I just thought going to that dinner would relieve it, and I wanted—want so bad to know why he had left or if I did anything to make him want to abandon us."

"I just have to accept that I'm not meant for good things." Maya finally said.

"That's not true." Lucas pulled her into his chest to keep her from saying any more, his arms encircling her waist as he rested his chin at the top of her head. She finally let her guard down and wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing quietly against his shirt. On instinct, he kissed the top of her head, stroking the long hair that cascaded down her back.

Maya sometimes underestimated herself, but there wasn't a moment in their friendship where he doubted her. She was so intelligent and creative—he was enraptured by her beautiful mind, and he knew that she had the potential to do whatever she wanted.

He could stand there and tell her how amazing she was, but he knew it wouldn't do much good to her current state.

All he could do was just be there for her—like his mother had advised.

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