❝yours, tommy❞ | dylmas

2. cuddles

Thomas POV

When I open my eyes, I don't really understand where I am and what just happened. But then, I turn my head a little bit and I see Dylan just next to me, watching some stuff on TV. I slowly sit down, embarrassed of myself.

"Hey, look who just woke up."

"Oh my god, Dyl, I'm sorry. I fell asleep! You can't even know how dumb I feel." I cover my mouth with my hands. I fell asleep literally five minutes after arriving at Dylan's place.

"Why? You were tired, you just had a six hours plane trip! Don't worry, you didn't even sleep much anyway." He says, smiling.

"Yeah, but still. You must have taken me for a jerk."

"No, I didn't, Tommy. But hey do you want something to drink? I was about to ask what you'd prefer when I saw you asleep. Maybe you could come with me to the kitchen? I bought so many things, so you have options."

I nod and we both get up from the couch, and I follow Dylan in his kitchen. He opens the fridge and I go behind his back, laying a hand on his waist, because the gap between the fridge and the table is not so big and I'm afraid to fall. My heart races as I feel the warmth of his skin throughout his shirt. I don't know if Dylan notices though, since he keeps staring at the fridge. Eventually, I end up next to him.

"So, you can have anything you want. I got beers, Coke, lemonade, water of course, wine, some fruit juices. You have snacks in the cupboard just above your head. Glasses are in the cupboard in here..." he says while moving to get me a glass. "Here." He puts down the glass next to my hand, laying now on the table. "You want some snacks?"

"Well, actually what time is it?" I ask, getting myself a beer at the same time.

"It's... 7:30 pm."

"Well I could also...make you my famous creamy cheese pasta? If you want to, of course," I propose, because I know these are Dylan's favorite - I already cooked that meal for him once during the press tour.

His eyes go wide, and he makes the goofiest smile ever. "Do you really ask me if I want your pasta? You know I do!" he says, cracking up. He starts running everywhere in his kitchen, giving me all I need to cook.

"Okay then, flower, take a seat and let the Chef cook."

He takes a seat at the table, in front of me, and watches me cook. His eyes shine, his smile is adorable. Every time our eyes meet, his smile gets wider. I try to stay focus on my task, but my heart keeps pounding faster and faster as I feel Dylan's eyes on me.

God, I'm so in love with him.

🌼

"Tommyyyy."

I can hear Dylan calling me, but I can't see him: he's lying on the table chairs. I slightly laugh at his low and tired voice before asking him what's wrong.

"I feel useless. Are you sure I can't do something to help? Besides, you shouldn't be cooking for me. You're my guest, I should be the one cooking for you."

"It's okay Dylan, we're friends, I'm not going to die because you let me cook. I'm happy to do it. You love my pasta and you don't have my cream recipe. I'm almost done", I respond. He sits back down on one chair and looks at me while I drain the fresh cooked pasta. "Can you give me two plates please?"

He puts two plates beside the pan of macaroni, and I start to fill them up, before adding a lot of my creamy cheese sauce. "Here you go Dyl." We both sit down at the table and eat. I can tell, by the look on his face, how much he loves it. I mean, not to brag but, this is in fact delicious. As he could read through my mind, he compliments me. "It's delicious Thomas."

"Thank you. Dylan. You've got sauce everywhere on your face." His smile fades, and he concentrates to swallow the big bite he has in his mouth, before we both crack up.

"Shit." He gets up and cleans up his chin.

The rest of the meal we just eat and talk about everything.

🌼

"Thank you again for the meal man, I'm so full right now." Dylan says, patting his belly.

"Anything for you Dyl. Do you mind if I go for a quick shower? I'm exhausted." I ask, scratching my neck. He tells me to go and that he'll probably take a shower too in his own bathroom. "Okay then. I'll be quick", and I leave the living room to go upstairs.

In the shower, I can breathe a little. Being an introvert isn't easy. I love spending time with Dylan but it's just... When you had to go through..stuff, it can be hard to manage.
Here I can let my mind drift away, but I try not to think too much though. The water is really hot, almost burning my skin, and although it hurts a little, I like it. It is precisely what stops me from thinking too much.

I feel so much pain, so much anger inside me. I don't know how to get rid of it when I'm alone. Dylan is the only thing that calms me down actually. When I'm on my own, I don't even recognize myself. In my head, it feels like there's no sun anymore, like there are too many clouds that won't disappear.

My last relationship fucked me up so bad, what if it all goes wrong with my Dylan too?

I don't even know if he likes me anyway. If he likes me that way. I don't even know if he's gay, bi, or whatever. We never discussed it.

Maybe one day he'll be mine, maybe he won't. I guess we'll see. Whatever happens, I'll still love him. He'll always be the one who keeps me from breaking down. So maybe I'll try to make him mine, yeah. And if he doesn't want to, well, that's okay.

I'll do anything for my boy.

Jesus Thomas, get your shit together.

I cut the water off and get out of the shower. I quickly dry myself with the towels and put my pajama on. I only packed one pajama (it's enough for a week I guess), a simple shirt and my soft blue pants. I also put on my soft, comfy socks, and I finally go downstairs.

Dylan's already in the couch, looking at his phone, so I join him.

"Cute socks you have there Tommy", he winks at me. He laughs as I gently hit his arm. "Don't tell me you never wore comfy socks, mister big boy. What do you want to do?"

"Don't know. You? We're not watching the DVD tonight obviously. You're way too tired and I didn't invite you to fall asleep while watching it." He's right. I'm tired and all jetlagged.

"You're right. It's okay, we can just watch TV for tonight. I'm happy to be here by the way", I smile at him.

As I settle down on the couch, Dylan gets up to grab blankets, he then turns on the TV and find some funny stuff to watch. After a while, I notice he stares at me and I turn my face toward him. "What?" I giggle. All I get in response is his goofy smile, his eyes so wide, I can almost hear his laugh coming up from his chest. "Alright, come over here." I pat the couch and open my arms.

"Yeh!" he squeals and comes quickly next to me. "Sorry Tommy. You know I love to cuddle. I hope you don't mind?"

"Don't worry. You're lucky it's me though, don't know if Ki Hong would agree to cuddle with you like this", I tease.

I guess we got used to cuddle like this without it being awkward. Dyl isn't like me in that way. He absolutely adores being cuddled. There were times on set where he felt so tired and lonely. It just naturally became an habit between us. He needed this and I loved him - and we both found something in this.

We stay quiet, the only sounds coming from the TV and from Dylan, laughing as always.

Feeling his heartbeat against my chest, I slowly fall asleep.