YOURS - A Darshan Raval Fanfiction

Back To You

It's hard, quite impossible, to stay away from Him. It's not even like I could stay away from His thoughts anyway. All these days, I sure was away from any kind of contact with him but his thoughts kept hovering over my mind constantly. It's like the more I try to avoid it, the more it keeps coming back.

So finally, after fighting about days and debating over the pros and cons from last two hours, I'm giving in to my heart, letting the brain accept its defeat.
I look at his number for about two more seconds, taking a deep breath and collecting my thoughts I tap the call button. It keeps ringing and I sit back holding my breath, my hand on my thumping chest. He receives at the third ring and my breath hitches.

"Hello", his soothing voice fills my ear and I exhale. A shiver goes down my spine making me shudder. I close my eyes and let myself embrace the happiness of hearing his voice after this long.

"H..hello, Darsh!", my voice comes out as a whisper. "God Tanshi! Where were you these days? Are you okay? I've been calling and texting you like crazy. Do you even know how worried I was?!", he shots his never ending questions in a breath.
I can't help the warmth forming on my heart with his concerned, desperate tone.

I open my mouth but nothing comes out at first. I mentally keep patting my back and repeating the encouraging words,
'it's okay, it's okay. It's just Darshan, you can talk to him without breaking down, you're strong. You can do it'

Finally being able to compose myself I reply, "hey..hey. Calm down. I'm not murdered yet. I'm still here to bless your life in the most pathetic way", I say with a small laugh, trying to reassure him. Glad that I could keep my voice steady.

When I opened my phone today morning it was filled with his messages all asking about my disappearance. Many missed calls from him & my other friend Jess. They were on the verge of threatening me with 'breaking into my apartment' if I didn't reply.

"It's not time for joking Tansh! You really made me worried... scared, in fact", he says the last part softly.
"I'm fine yaar", I try to assure him. "Where were you? And why did you suddenly disappear?" He asks the questions I was dreading, but was ready with suitable answers to.

"Ah! I was a bit busy with the whole varsity applying thing. But mainly just wanted some time alone, to myself", I answer which was partly true.

"And how that has anything to do with keeping your phone off and shutting out all contacts?", he asks fiercely. "Just the way you do the same thing and disappear with your music", I shot back & hear him sigh.

He has this habit of disappearing sometimes, shutting everyone out. He says it like,  'it helps me focus on my music without any distraction'. I never understood it until now. Space really does wonder.

He keeps asking me about my days and I obey, answering him everything leaving out the drastic parts only. I don't have the energy to know about their lives together. So I don't bring up the matter as he didn't.
And just like that we're back to our normal selves. Chit-chatting, irritating and pulling each other's leg.

It's almost a relief. Talking to him like before after such a long period of time. Apparently, I understood space from him can't give me my happiness, for he holds my happiness. Leaving him I wouldn't be able to be whole ever. I'd always have a piece of me missing. 'Cause he fulfills me.

No matter what happens I always keep coming back to him. I know it's not ideal to depend on someone else and give them the access to our own life. But for now I'll let it pass.

I was wrong to think that I could be strong by leaving him behind. Because that'd be my weakness. And that'd only ruin our happiness.
He is my strength and no matter how much pain it causes me to see them together; it'd make me strong. I would never let my inner feelings ruin this beautiful friendship of ours. I can't afford to lose this.

What is love without pain again? I love him and I'm ready to endure any pain for the sake of seeing him smiling in front of me. I'll be there for him and I'll be stronger for him, with him.