random shit

nineteen.

i wont be active for at least a week
which means that all of my books will be on hold for some time
my life was going great but something just hit me and it hit me hard
ive been crying for half an hour and i know im not half done
i just need to figure out how im going to handle this
the reason for this shit is today i received the list of people in my group for our school trip to washington DC
i only know one person in my group and i dont really even like her
i have to sit next to my mother on the bus instead of friends and if you think im pathetic then FUCK YOU
i was looking forward to enjoying time with people i actually like
im going to have to cling to my mothers side the whole time because i feel so alone
im sorry for this being so sudden
but all i really hope for now is that i wont break down during the trip

im sorry