Crash

Dawn

I climbed out the of the covers, lingering for a second as the duvet caressed my arm tempting me into staying. The early rays of daybreak had already risen, peeping behind the trees and I realised I wouldn't be able to lure myself to sleep even with the aid of a cup of fresh chamomile tea. Relief and tranquil washed over me as I gazed out on to the rivers which had turned to liquid gold, the trees diffusing, sun rays breaking into the horizon surface, shattering it like a thousand fragments of diamond and opal reflecting streams of gold.

It was an ineffable feeling, which no matter how gracefully I described, would always be a struggle to articulate.But no matter how beautiful each morning was it couldn't make up the nights terrors I had to go through.

I had to get up now, and get ready for school. I was both dreading and excited. I enjoyed learning but that was about it.

I was an introvert.

Quiet and timid in my habits.

I wasn't unknown though somehow.

I was the girl in school who you knew but never spoke to.

The one who simultaneously existed but didn't.

I was in the middle class of people who you knew of, but nothing about, but that was hardly a matter of complain for me. I didn't need extra attention at school, I preferred to get in and out as efficiently as I could. I needed to work hard and not allow any questions to be asked.

Now that would be a problem.

It was the first day back from the semester break and so I wanted to get to school a little early. I made myself an espresso, grabbed an apple, slipped my shoes on and left. I walked two blocks and took a left through an alley, then another three blocks and a right, one more block and I entered the school gates.

I had mechanics first.

Mr Adams whizzed through our syllabus setting us two assignments and then it was Spanish.I took Spanish purely because it was a class I knew I could get an A in.

Gotta get those extra credits right.

I was half Colombian and half Moroccan. Spanish was my one of two of my mother tongues and plus it looked good on my resumé. I enjoyed this class, not only because it was easy but my teacher was also great and had a great sense of humor. I really appreciated the fact that he knew we had other classes and set us minimal work.

I walked in and took a seat in the middle of the class.The seats filled up quickly,I just kept my headphones on and leaned back and closed my eyes.

The comfort that my headphones could provide me. The canvas of black couldn't provoke me or taunt me unless I let my thoughts run around. I hummed to my music allowing it to ease my constant state of anxiety. It was soothing to not have to hear the ordinary sounds of reality, they could trigger me, or send me into a domino of flashbacks. To memories I had already buried.

"Okay"

Mr Martinez said startling me

"These seats are yours for the semester the person sitting on your left-" 

He stopped, tilted his head and continued

"No actually, you're right, yes the person on your right will be your partner for the semester, oh and no changing"