poetic escapes

drowning

tw: suicide

Sighing as I rubbed my tired eyes, I remember the silent tears, the silent sobbing. I remember biting my lip to the point it bleeds as I try desperately to stop quivering as the completely crushing, suffocating, numbness would crash into me, setting my nerves ablaze with pain and yet, empty on the inside, water filling my lungs and every organ inside my rotting corpse.
I feel the sunk-in bags underneath them, dark with the lack of night terrors. My cheeks felt stiff with the dried tears, And insects around me buzzed with life. My nerves were on fire with the emotional pain seeping out of my infected heart, And tainting the rest of my broken body.
The water lapped at my feet, as if trying to calm my dizzy panic. The distant echo of my horrid thoughts were being washed away with every lap from the water's tongue. It seemed to hush my body, allowing my conscience to be clear of the toxic memories.
Flashbacks of the rape, of the cutting, of the screaming, fighting, bullying, crying, and self-hating all oozed out of my body from the skin touching the water.
Taking a deep breathe, I waded out further into the inky black liquid. The calm that invaded my brain as the water rose to my hips was almost enough to make me high. It's been so long since I've felt this calm, this relaxed. No anxious thoughts, no horrid voices, no stinging memories. Not a single thing rippled in my thoughts.
Eventually it got deep enough to reach my shoulders. The weighted down boots I was wearing made me smile. No matter how much instinct would struggle, I would be able to finally escape. Six long years of complete misery, of things just getting worse and worse, would finally come to a peaceful end. A whisper saying goodnight, to a small, broken child who was never supposed to be awake anyways.
The world would accept the news, life wouldn't stop without me. If it stings a little bit, it will heal. People will forget, continue on as normal. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
I remember her, I remember her smiles, her bright eyes, her beautiful laughs. The thought of her makes my tears mix in with the water, as it cups my face and kisses my forehead. I never healed when she said goodnight, never did recover. I tried to run away, then it got worse.
He ended up taking my innocence, then the one I needed most left me alone. I cried out a bit, and water engulfed my mouth, muffling my screams. As if it understood, as if it was trying to hush me, to coax me once again. My broken heart seemed to float out of my silent mouth as I finally let go, i let go of her, I let go of him. I let go of mother, I let go of father. I let go of friends lost, I let go of others. I let go of pets, I let go myself.
As my blue lips part with the oxygen that has kept my lungs inflated, my dull grey eyes flutter closed as the water kissed my skin, holding me with it's lullaby. I felt the darkness pressing against my conscience, fading...fading.. My erratic heartbeats became sluggish, and they grew slower and slower. My hands floated upwards and I felt all thoughts disappear.
Goodnight
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welp-
what's your favorite movie(s)? or show?
alice in wonder land and alice through the looking glass. im also really digging stranger things-
#meleven101