DEAR PETER | ❝ dear peter, play good music at my
funeral. ❞
In which Peter's long time crush dies and she leaves him a series of video messages with what she wants him to do specifically for her funeral.
[PETER PARKER AU]
[COPYRIGHT TO ASH 2018]
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"I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING SEEMS SO DIFFERENT FRON WHAT YOU BELIEVED IT WOULD. You always choose to believe in the world as somewhere we could explore and see knew things. But Peter, my death doesn't show that as an opposite, my death just shows that things change," the seventh video started like that, with an opening that hooked the boy onto it.
"Peter life isn't fair, it really isn't. But you can't let that be the one thing on your mind, listen to me Peter okay?" He didn't want to, she was going to tell him to move on, to forget about her.
"I don't want you to forget about me Peter, no one can do that. It's not possible. But what is possible is the way that humans have a remarkable way of being able to bounce back after things like this. At some point we find a reason to say that something is happy, we find a reason to say that someone looks nice. At somepoint, you find a reason to be you."
Peter didn't know himself without the girl, it had always been Mira and Peter doing this and that, but now it was just Peter doing this and that. He didn't want a world without her, a world where he would have to learn to do things without her sarcastic comments.
"Peter I need you to talk to someone, if not Tony or May, hell any of the avengers, maybe make us a therapist. Sometimes that's the best way to get over the pain that death and things can cause. And I know you can get over death, you've done it before, it's just this time, I won't be there Pete."
"But I want you to be," for the first time in a while Peter cried, he cried in a place where everyone could see him. In a way, that was his call for help, his call for attention. He needed someone to help him through the pain he felt.
"Peter, I love you with all my heart and I can't be there with you, that fucking hurts. So I'm going to tell you a few of the things I've always imagined us doing, so that maybe when you find a girl one day, you can do it with her. I've always imagined us staying up till four in the morning, probably playing something along Star Wars trivial pursuit. I've imagined the way that I would clean up your cuts and bruises, giving you a kiss on the forehead to make you feel better. I've imagined the day that I would marry you, wearing the all white dress and the tears that were kept contained in both of our eyes as we looked at one another. Those Peter, those are the things that keep us going. It's not what we didn't do, it's not what could've been done, it's the times we want to remember, the things we told each other, the things we dreamed for each other's everything. Those will help you move on Peter, not these videos, the memories that I brought up earlier, on the other hand, those will."
Peter didn't want that to be the end of the videos, he had to face the reality that his best friend was gone. She was dead and she wasnt coming back. But Peter wasn't alone, he had a group of dedicated people behind him, all willing to help him get better.
Peter was going to feel better one day, it was just going to take one memory at a time, one step a day.
