Endless | AU Harry Styles (on hold)

1. Stages of Awkwardness

Caraphernelia- a broken-heart disease that occurs whenver someone leaves you, but leaves all of their things behind

She was standing on the balcony looking out at the ocean, looking as fearless as ever. Her hair blowing in the cool, crisp wind. She was always so admirable in every aspect of her life, she had everything together, knew what she wanted to do. But she was the kind of person you could never be jealous of, even though she was basically perfect, she was perfect in such a way that you all you could was admire her. She didn't know I was watching her, she probably didn't even know I was awake. I was always like that, quiet and going unnoticed. It was just my personality, I hated being the center of attention.

I started to move forward more to get a better look at what she was doing, but my slight movement caused her to turn around and spot me.

"Elise, why are you awake at this hour? Go back to sleep" she said softly.

I moved closer to her, not saying a word. 

"Elise, I mean it go to mommy and daddy's room" she said more forcefully.

"But  I want to be out here with you" I said stubbornly.

"I don't want you to see this." she said quietly.

In that moment, I saw something I had never thought I would see in my sister's eyes in a million years. Fear.

I got a chill all the way to my core when I saw that. I knew something was wrong, but I was only eight year olds and didn't know any better.

"Are you gonna be ok?" I asked timidly.

"Eventually I will" she replied. "I'm going to count to ten Elise, and by then I want you to go back to mommy and daddy's room and forget this ever happened"

She started to count and I turned around and walked back to into the house, off the balcony.

"...ten" she finished.

But  by the time I turned around, she was already flying off the railing and onto the ground below.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I woke up in a sweat and had the chills. My sheets were wet and cold, making me get out of my bed faster than usual. The nightmare that was my life kept replaying before my eyes, haunting me even in my sleep. That night never left my mind, it happened over eight years ago and it felt like it was yesterday. How do you forget witnessing your sister, or better yet best friend, commit suicide? You don't. Her presence is everywhere, I walk down the hall and pass her room everyday and am immediately filled with memories of sitting in her room and having her braid my hair. You don't forget stuff like that, it's burned into your mind forever.

Trying my best to forget about the nightmare, I stumble through my room at the god forsaken hour of six in the morning trying to get ready for school. It was my first day at Liceo Foscarini, the oldest high school here in Venice, Italy. Except, I wasn't starting out as a freshman in September, I was starting out as a junior in January. My parents had this new year's resolution to take me out of private school and put me in public school, so I can become more "social".

I guess the only plus was being able to wear whatever clothes I wanted and not the ugly school uniforms like before. I threw on a casual, black Prada dress with my nude oxfords and fishtailed my hair to the side. I did a quick double-check in the mirror, thinking this is as good as it's going to get, and grabbed my Valentino bag with some looseleaf and pencils stuffed in it and walked out of my room.

I am greeted with the delicious smell of french toast and I find it placed in front of my usual sitting place at the dinner table, the seat farthest from where my mother and father sit. I sit down and dig in, pouring half the bottle of syrup on my breakfast.