reminisce | e'dawn. [🗸]

[chapter nineteen]

I singled out Changgu's phone number from the group chat that I found on my old cellphone and sent him an invitation to my hospital room. I wanted to talk with him and make sure he wasn't still so upset, so traumatized; now that I fully acknowledged who he was, I knew that was out of character for him. He accepted and told me he'd be here by lunch time.

Dr. Kim walked into my room after I finished breakfast and startled me. He wasn't holding a clipboard like usual, but instead wore his glasses on the bridge of his nose and had his hands clasped together. That didn't look good.

"Good morning, Hyojong," he said to me upon entrance. Was it really a good morning? I waved my chopsticks at him and slid the tray of food away from me because I was done. "Is that seolleongtang? It's really good over at Imun Seolnongtang."

"I can't remember the last time I've been there," I said, just glad that I recognized it as a restaurant.

"We should talk to your mother about that," he laughed, leaning one hand on the counter beside the window as he spoke to me. "Actually, I was just here to explain some things to you so that you're prepared."

"For what?"

He sighed, pushed his glasses up. "I'd like to keep you in the hospital a little while longer. When you had that seizure and remembered everything, it was obviously a lot to take in and of course very strange, so I think it'd be best if my teammates and I monitored you for the next few days to be sure that no damage was done."

I gulped. "What kind of damage?"

Dr. Kim tilted his head sympathetically at my oblivion and tapped his temple twice as if to indicate that I might have brain damage. No, I didn't. I was fine.

"Don't get me wrong, your physical state is perfectly fine. You remember your fine motor skills were affected by your injury and on top of that you may have bruised something by collapsing on the soccer field, but your head is okay," he furthered. So what was the problem? "Only thing is, you've been through a lot as a child and teen, so there might be a little more than physical damage. More... psychological. It just hasn't set in yet."

"I'm not crazy," I insisted, automatically jumping to the conclusion that he thought I was losing my mind. I was getting it back--literally. Dr. Kim shook his head and waved his hands about, so I looked away.

"No, of course you're not crazy!" he clarified. "I meant there may have been some trauma. Even without the memories, you woke up in the night with terrible cramps after having landed on your arm. Also, from what Mr. Jung tells me, you've had a couple of nightmares at home since your release. That's not good, Hyojong."

"I know," I said quietly, rubbing my right wrist. That pain was familiar to me, and if I thought about it, I could feel it. "So?"

"So if you're on board, I'd like you to stay here for the next five days and speak to a psychiatrist once a day to see how you're doing emotionally. I understand that this is a tedious effort towards your recovery, but... desperate times."

"Why a psychiatrist?" I asked. "Why not you or Mom?"

"I'm afraid neither of us are credentialed enough to assume that role; however," he proposed, "would you be more comfortable talking to Mr. Jung about it?"

It didn't take any considering. "Yes."

He called Mom and scribbled some notes. I'd have to switch rooms before tomorrow, he told me.

Thus established my weeklong stay at City Hospital.

- 천천히 -

Changgu arrived quietly and just waved at me with a closed-mouth smile. I did the same, sitting with my legs folded and my phone weighing my hand down.