reminisce | e'dawn. [🗸]

[chapter nine]

Hongseok;

My hair was down past my eyes now. It looked good, it just wasn't the right color. I was anxious to change it, but I had to wait until the New Year passed--that's what Mr. Jung said at least, and Mom went along with it. They said it would be something of a New Year's Resolution. Today was December 23.

Since everyone had fewer homework assignments to complete over the past few days, I went over to Hui's house, then Wooseok's apartment, then Shinwon's workplace, and then I invited Jinho and Yuto over to my place. It was all separate, of course, so I had a good time bonding with them. Now, I had a day to myself.

"Mr. Kim," I said abruptly as I walked sleepily out of bed. I wasn't yet in the hallway, but I spoke to Mr. Kim as if he were in the room with me. The snow on the ground illuminated my bedroom walls, and with the natural light that seeped in, I had slept especially peacefully.

I ventured out and found that Mr. Kim was sitting at the table next to Mom, a mug of coffee in his hand and a furry white thing on his lap. It sprouted legs and darted past my ankles when I showed my face, and then it was gone. I had never jumped higher in my life.

"Dawn, that was Bomi," Mom smiled. "She's awfully shy."

"Bomi?" I asked. I forgot we had a cat. "She scared me."

"You scared her, too," Mr. Kim told me, and I had a laugh. Like I could scare anyone, much less an animal. "Did you need something?"

"Actually," I started, standing at the head of the table where Mom and Mr. Kim could both see me, "I think I want to go out today--by myself."

"By yourself?" Mom asked, putting her own mug of coffee down with a clatter. I grimaced. "Dawn, you're only eighteen."

I shrugged. "So are all my friends. They've been out alone before."

Mr. Kim put his hand on Mom's shoulder, whispered something inaudibly, and then Mom shook her head in disapproval.

"Sorry, Dawn," Mr. Kim said. I slumped. "Your mom is just worried about you, that's all. But I think it'd be great for you to get out. You've got a cellphone, right?"

I smiled, my teeth showing too. Out of respect, I bowed at the clement man. "Thank you, Mr. Kim." Then, I scrambled down the hall in the same manner that Bomi did and started digging through my dresser. Maybe if I looked hard enough, I could find something other than sweatpants, for it was worse than freezing out.

And in the back of my top drawer, a cluster of metal objects clinked together noisily. I was only searching for socks at that point, but now I was intrigued.

Rings.

One at a time, I slipped them around the fingers on either of my hands. They were loose on me the first time I put them on, tight the second, and then when I rearranged them for a third time, they felt one with my hands. I gazed down in awe at my calloused fingers and rotated my hands, admiring how the light reflected off the three silver bands. It generally wasn't extraordinary to find jewelry, but the condition of my brain made it feel like finding a hidden treasure chest. Would I ever realize why these rings seemed so significant to me?

They didn't feel uncomfortable or cold. They felt like part of me. I bet I wore these rings every day.

When I walked out, fully dressed in jeans, a pullover sweatshirt, and the rings, I scurried past Mom and Mr. Kim in the event that they would hail me and ask why I was wearing something so drastically different than all the other days. The jeans were thicker than my cotton joggers, though, so that felt reason enough to me. I shouted a farewell and double-checked my pockets for my phone. There it was, nestled against the side of my thigh.