Majestic shadows by @whikerms
Summary
After enduring an attack on his homeland, Whik Winfield journeys to the mysterious island of Sebolt. When he stumbles upon an ancient device in the cellar of a map-maker's study, his life is forever changed. All the while, the looming possibility of war casts a shadow on the island that can only be lifted with the sacrifice of Sebolt's most important individuals. As the veil of destruction sweeps across the island, Whik must decide who in his life is really worth fighting for, and what exactly are the consequences of his encounter with the ancient device. Follow Whik on two story-lines, one as an adult, and the other as a child, as he comes to terms with his role in preventing the destruction of everything he holds close.
I don't really like fantasy much but he really portrayed what was going on with vivid imagery. I like your characterisation as well as I felt it was relevant for the fantasy genre and I didn't notice any mistakes.For some reason I'm not getting into it but that's probably because I don't really do fantasy writing. I haven't noticed any errors in this apart from one where you forgot to put 'behind' or something before the next word, though I might be imagining it. It is also a bit too long and descriptive for me but that's because I like faster paced stories. The first chapter also had nothing to do with the prologue which confused me. Otherwise you're a brilliant writer.I thought Thomas was Whik's brother? But maybe not. Also I got lost between the place where they were running away and the place where they were suddenly on a boat...another thing, if they were running away from 'bad' people or 'evil' wouldn't they be scared? He didn’t really shown that. Otherwise again a really good piece of writing. You spelt 'accustomed' wrong and why did you kill of that guy? He just went up to them and bam he dead. Yeah, I don’t particularly like fantasy but it was extremely well written (much better than what I can write unfortunately) so go and check it out
***4/5***
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