Primrose Millie thirlwall (jam fan fiction)

Chapter 48

'I'm posting it' I said to Rory as we sat in a small cafe having food 'what's the point, she's been gone 9 months she obviously doesn't want to be found' he told me 'she does I can feel it' I said looking at him,we'd been on holiday a few months ago with Rory's mum and sister and it made me think what if she saw hiding abroad somewhere 'but what if' he said and I interrupted him 'if what' I asked with a sharp tone 'what if she's dead' he said 'she's not she's alive I know she is and she'll come home to us one day' I told him getting a bit upset 'come on don't cry' he said stroking my cheeks 'I waited my whole life for parents I get them and they've gone just like that' I said sniffing back tears 'come on let's go finish Ruexs presents then get you home' Rory told me as we stood up, tomorrow Ruex was 1, another thing jade is missing but that doesn't matter either to her because she doesn't even know him she hasn't brought him up I have. 

'He will love all of this' I said my face probably looked like the heart eye emoji right now if it could look like any, all of these things we got, we went over board but he was worth it, he deserved everything and more. I wrapped the last box and placed it at the end of my bed with everything else waiting to go down stairs tonight. I looked around my room and everything was wrapped in peter rabbit wrapping paper but we should have some princess paper there to for Rori she would be 3 tomorrow too but she was spending that in heaven which made me sad, jade should be here for that, I was so sad right now I felt I wasn't coping. I walked downstairs to see the twins playing nicely on their tablets and Ruex and Alessia were in the ball pit together 'mummy' Violet said and I just looked at her sadly 'hi' I smiled and walked off, I could see max, Rory and perrie at the breakfast bar talking I carried on walking to the front door and grabbed my keys on the way out, I was so down I just needed time. I drove off, I hadn't decided where I was going yet but I knew it needed to be a long drive to clear my head, I wasn't in the mood for talking I just wanted to be alone,I knew this day would get to me, my whole family felt like it was falling apart. 

I'd driven for hours, in fact about 5 hours in all it was hitting 6pm and I was just arriving in Newcastle I needed to be here my phone had been ringing for the last 5 hours non stop in the end I had to turn find my iPhone off and my actual phone off because I was sick of the noise and I didn't want to be found, I needed to see my nana for piece of mind, I pulled up outside of her house and got a hound of butterflies shooting through my stomach it's been months, she claims she doesn't know where my mam is but I think she's lying, her kid doesn't go missing for months on end and her be so calm about it. I walked up to the door and knocked, my breath was jaggered and tears pricked my eyes, someone came to it and looked shocked when they seen me 'prim' she gasped 'can I come in' I asked 'of course, your nan is through here' my auntie shireen said and I followed her in to see everyone just sat having a natter but it soon fell silent when I walked in 'primrose' my nan said standing up and hugging me and I just broke down 'is everything okay' my uncle Karl asked standing up and hugging me with my nana 'I needed to be alone, I drove here' I told them 'that's fine you're always welcome, you drove alone' she asked and I nodded 'I just left the kids on the floor, I was just to sad to even acknowledge them' I shrugged and she hugged tighter 'we miss her too' she told me and I knew exactly who she was on about as I pulled out the hug and sat on her sofa, it was silent for a few moments 'does anyone know you're here' Karl asked 'no, I left...don't tell them' I asked 'they'll be worried' he said 'please just not yet' I asked 'yeah anything for you' he told me 'I'll go home soon' I said not looking at anyone 'no you'll stay here for the night' nana said 'no it's Ruex birthday tomorrow' I told her 'I know pet we are going up tomorrow' she told me and I looked at her 'really' I asked and she nodded 'it's the least we could do, he needs everyone around him' Karl smiled and I felt a little bit easier 'you know...I thought you were hiding everything from me, like you know where jade is and now I'm not so sure' I said and they all looked shocked and sad 'no pet we don't know where she is, we haven't heard from her in the same length of time as you, if we knew I'd not keep it a secret from her kids the people that need her the most' Norma told me and I just sobbed 'there is nobody I want more' I cried and she just rubbed my back as her house phone rang 'hello' I heard Karl say then he looked at me and I shook my head no 'no I haven't seen her, is she ok' I asked 'I'll keep an ear out and let you know' he said 'bye pez' he said and hung up and I let out a sigh of relief 'they're worried' he said and I just shrugged 'if you tell them I'll leave' I said 'we won't pet don't panic' nana told me and I just sat staring into air 'they're gunna phone the police if you're not back by tonight' he told me and I just looked at him 'I'll go home tomorrow with use, until then you keep tight lipped' I said and they all nodded 'how's the kids' Shireen asked and I just did a small nod.