I Would Kill For You

30. The Aftermath

"I see." she nodded with a pensive expression. "Anyhow, this is not the final verdict. The borderline personality disorder is still debatable, but my colleagues and I are certain about the obsessive love disorder."

"We found over thirty different photographs of Damian Belfort in Gabrielle's room. Some are from social media, the others must have been taken by her clandestinely and without Damian's consent. She had drawn red hearts on each one of them. In one picture, she even went as far as substituting a girl's face in the background with her own."  Nichole intervened. 

"She stalked the object of her affection, kept track of his location at all times. You have also experienced her inability to restrain herself from extreme acts of violence. The crimes she committed were methodical, almost ritualistic, and very personal. Asphyxiating her victims demonstrates her aching need for control, control which she didn't have over Damian's feelings." 

The object of her affection. Freezing cold shivers ran down my spine, accompanied by an uncomfortable sensation that settled inside me. 

"There is only one default in the diagnosis that we haven't sorted out yet. The obsessive love disorder, just like borderline personality disorder, has deep roots in childhood trauma. And so far, we haven't been able to identify such a case in Gabrielle's life." Olivia continued. "Are you sure that she's never mentioned abuse to you?"

"I'm certain. Her father is an authoritarian figure, but I've never seen him raise a hand upon anyone. Her family is really lovely and they love her a lot." I asserted confidently. "Sometimes she'd tell me about her parents fighting, but it wasn't something out of the ordinary."

The psychologist took more notes and thanked me. As soon as I was left alone with detective Nichole, we exchanged a tacit look. She was the one who broke the silence.

"Frankly, I have this strange feeling that we're missing something." she admitted, fiddling with her pen. "I just haven't figured out what yet."

"Do you really think that she did all those things?" I asked with a glimmer of hope. 

She gave me a sad, enigmatic smile.

"I do. For now, at least." She raised from her chair. "That is all for today, miss Ingold. Stop overthinking and overanalyzing. That is my job. Go home and try to continue living your life."

Funnily enough, that was the last thing I wanted to do. My life resembled a nightmare at the moment. I just had to learn how to wake up.

And that was how two whole months went by. 

***

Ever since Damian left, I had become very close with his brother. And I had to admit, it was all for the wrong reasons. 

Joseph's almost identical physiognomy compensated for the fact that I couldn't see his twin. Every time he turned his head to the side I could pretend that it was Damian, and even if the pretence only lasted a few seconds, it was enough for me.

Furthermore, he was really understanding and sympathetic. He always supported me, helped me with homework, took care of me, just like a good brother would. Sometimes he'd ramble for half an hour about random scientific facts, but I didn't mind. I was actually fascinated by his immeasurable memory and high intelligence. And the more time I spend around him, the guiltier I felt. 

What would he do if he knew that I always wanted him by my side because he looked just like Damian? It wasn't the only reason, of course, but it was still one of the main factors. What would he do if he knew that each time I went on my tip toes to hug him, I closed my eyes and imagined that I was hugging his brother?

 His presence was healing. But Joseph wasn't the only one who helped me heal. 

I was going through a really hard time, no matter how much I tried to hide it. I felt alone and empty, and to numb the pain that chained my heart, the loss of my best friend, to forget the time and distance that separated Damian and me, I did everything to keep my mind busy. And that meant alcohol, hanging out with Avery's gang (I guess it wasn't Avery's anymore), partying, and bad decisions. 

A lot of bad decisions. 

Just like the one I was about to do right now.

"Come on, jump. I'll catch you." 

I gave Hayden an incredulous look. Devon shook his head and voiced:

"No, he won't. Or if he will, he'll then deliberately drop you and say you slipped."

"That was one time, okay?" The other defended himself with a grin. "And it was very funny. I'd totally do it again." 

They both started laughing, making me roll my eyes over my head. Boys...

"I don't mean to ruin your moment, but can you guys please get me down? Let me remind you that I'm currently clinging to the school fence like a monkey and anyone could see me." 

"Now that you're mentioning it, I definitely see the resemblance. You're like that Cappuccino monkey. An extra level of tiny." Hayden cackled, making me sigh in frustration. 

Devon smirked and extended his arms towards me, making a gesture with his head to encourage me to jump. I slid from the fence into his arms, and he placed me on the ground smoothly, though slowly, gazing into my eyes the whole time. I had never been this close to him, but up close, I could see the beautiful rings of green and hazel around his iris that evolved into silvery cobalt. I placed my palms on his chest and gave him a jaunty smile.

"Oh my God, just get a room already, you Cappuccino monkeys." Hayden mumbled under his breath, yet loud enough for us to hear.

I stepped back immediately, separating myself from Devon. After realizing what Hayden had actually said, Devon and I exchanged a confused look and then started guffawing like crazy, to the other boy's puzzlement. 

"There's no such thing as Cappuccino monkeys, dude. They're called capuchins." he corrected through chuckles.

"Besides, why on earth would you think that there's a species of monkeys called after a coffee drink?" I asked, unable to maintain a serious face. 

Hayden squinted his blue-green eyes at us in a disapproving manner. 

"It's called being creative. Duh."

We were walking in unison towards Devon's car, still amused because of Hayden's Cappuccino monkeys, when my phone started to ring. I took it out and saw an unknown number on the screen. I hung up without answering, convinced that someone must have dialled me accidentally. But not even a minute passed and my phone rang again. 

"You coming?" Hayden asked from the car impatiently.

"In a minute. I have to take this." I replied, motioning to my ringing phone. I distanced myself from the vehicle and picked up. "Hello?"

"Rosabel?" someone asked. It was the voice of a woman, and it sounded oddly familiar, but I couldn't tell who it was for sure.

"Yes." I confirmed. "Who am I speaking to?"

There was a whir in the background, as if she just breathed out loudly.

"Is there anyone else who can hear what I'm saying to you?"

"Umm, no. No. Why?" I asked. 

"This is detective Nichole. Listen, I'm not supposed to tell you this, because it's only a hypothesis of mine. But I will, off the record, because I need you to be cautious and inform me if you notice anything unusual. Do not share this with anyone. Do you understand?"

I froze in place, a sense of foreboding immersing me. I turned my head and saw the boys chatting in the car as usual. I bit my lower lip nervously, my heart racing so fast I could hear it beating in my eardrums.

"Okay."

She hesitated for a second. And then she voiced a sentence that turned my world upside down again.

"Gabrielle's suicide note is fake."