Enlightenment | Journal Number One

41 I'm Dipper Pines (part I)

*aggressive Dipper noises*

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I.

Ah, summer break. It's pretty much the only season kids and maybe some adults look forward to. Summer means beaches, family fun, and play-all-you-want. No monsters or anything to run away from.

Well, surprise! You do NOT want to hop in my sweaty-as-heck shoes.

My name is Hikari--why it's my name, I don't know. Maybe because I'm an Asian? But that's beside the point. The other girl about to projectile vomit all over the golf cart is my, uh, one heck of a sister. We're running away from some dark storm that somehow knows what Metallica is. I'll spill the beans later.

Cool? Cool.

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II.

"Do you even have a case, Hikari Itsukerui?" The cat asked, wearing a smug grin on its awfully pink snout. Hikari flared up with anger and a tiny flash of determination lit up in her dark brown eyes.

"Of course I do, a--your honor! I, uh--ah, screw it," she muttered. "I honestly wish I watched my mom's trial sessions. . ."

The audience was whispering among themselves, wondering what this wretch was about to do next. Wendy tensed, silently calling out to her to say something. The expression Soos wore seemed to say the same thing.

"BLAH! I know that calling off the defendant is ridiculous but guess what? I'm gonna do it anyway!" Hikari took a deep breath, and in the most dignified voice she could muster, she finally yelled out, "I call as a witness: Mabel Pines!"

The hushed voices raised in volume. Looks of bewilderment appeared on their faces. Hikari, with an air of triumph, strutted over to the scrapbook which showed that god-awful one-sided argument by those two god-awful boys with god-awful hair and god-awful abs. (At least, in her opinion.) The page displayed the memory of their picture-taking session in second grade, after the chewed-up gum was put in Mabel's hair.

"Okay, but that What's-her-last-name girl was an extreme butthole!" second-grade Hikari hissed, putting her arms around Mabel in an attempt to comfort her. "Hold on, lemme slap my bonnet on you so we can take a picture together. I'll be done with her after."

A smirk formed on Hikari's lips as she watched the memory. Mabel smiled a bit, too.

"Hey, miss What's-your-last-name!" the second-grader yelled, stomping over to the wretch. The blonde--Hikari loved to call her a wretch sometimes--whipped around and sneered at her.

"What? Here to stand up for the loser?" she sniffed. "I learned something new today. You two are both la-"

A hard punch. The blonde snapped out of her daze as she saw Hikari beckoning Mabel to come with her.

"That proverb I told you years ago still holds true to my heart. Does it, Mabel? No? Alright then." Hikari looked back at the scrapbook now displaying the time when she was teased for not getting any sort of valentine from her classmates.

"You have so many letters, Mabel," she sniffed, smiling. "I'm sitting here with none, crying like a total loser, and-" Her eyes suddenly lit up as a messily-glued-together card full of Mabel's own valentines was shoved into her hands.

"Okay, uh, Mabel," she began. "I-I know I probably don't have solid evidence, but--wait, I do. And it's right here in this scrapbook thing!" Hikari walked to the center, trying her best to hide her trembling voice. "How many times have you handed me a tissue to blow my nose in? How many times did you make me laugh after a long and very dramatic rant about how hard school is? How many times did you tell those judgmental buttholes that metal is not all noise? Dude, I can't even count how many times you saved my poor donkey. And do I get to repay the favor? Heck no!"