My Exception (sequel to No Exceptions)

Nineteen

Vertigo pummelled me, every blink only causing to disorientate me further. I closed my eyes, allowing my body to shut down. The pain and suffering fading away with my consciousness.

Fighting this was pointless.

A radiant phosphorescence warmed my face, inviting me to wake up. I opened my eyes and was shocked to find myself in my childhood bedroom, rugged up in my favourite patchwork quilt. The Georgian sun shone through my window, letting me know it was morning. Sitting up, I rubbed my legs, looking down at my favourite Fleetwood Mac bed shirt.

I tossed my sheets off and stretched my fingers skyward. Turning on my Bluetooth speaker, reluctant to start a new day. Hopefully the mellow tones of Louis Armstrong would help me find the will.

"Rackel! Rackel! Get up!"

Shane's voice rumbled like thunder; Nonna must've had morning shift at the hospital. She always sent my brother in to make sure I went to school when she couldn't.

"So much potential Rackel! Don't go wasting it on things so temporary."

Nonna had gotten Shane through school, now he was a cop. Someone she could be proud of; me however, that was another story. I'd chosen to pursue music, a life choice my guardian refused to understand. She couldn't see anything beyond a hobby, thought it was just another phase.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Christ Rackel! Don't make me drag you out here, it's time for school!"

I crossed my arms, waving the bird at the closed door. "I'm not doing it Shane! You can't make me!"

"Like hell I can't. Fuckin' teenagers..."

Our age difference was obvious on mornings like these; nineteen years that separated us causing him to behave more like a father than a brother. His hard demeanour grating on me; I didn't much feel like a lecture to be honest.

"I don't want to go Shane. What possible use do I have for advanced trig and home economics?"

"Enough," he turned the knob, opening up. "Well that's different. I thought I was gonna have to burst down this door."

I scoffed, "it would be refreshing to see Nonna pissed at someone else for a change."

He ran his hands through his hair, a common tell of irritation. "What happened to your music class? Thursday's music right?"

"Didn't she tell you?"

"Tell me what?" His exasperation upsetting me more than it should.

I don't care. I don't care.

"She changed my electives. Jean thought that I had no use for fiddling with my guitar and singing." It was almost impossible to speak, a whoosh of breath leaving my lips. the dam was about to break.

Shane exhaled, leaning his palm on the frame whilst tilting his head down. "You're going to school. Don't want you to miss class."

"You're just not getting it!" I pegged my pillow at him, hitting him with the force of a feather, "There's no point in me going there! It'll just serve as a reminder of the thing I'm not allowed to do!"

"Cut the bullshit Rackel!" He struck the dresser beside my door, shaking his hand after. "If you want to do music, DO MUSIC!"

I tugged at my hair, his oversimplification of the matter vexed me. I shook my head, lost for words.

My brother stomped toward me, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, "you are a Walsh; if you love something, move mountains, swim oceans. You need to do whatever it takes to get it! Nothing in this world is free, nothing worth having will be handed to you!"

Seizing his hands, I tried to unclasp him, "let go of me dick! What do you suppose I do with Momma Walsh in my way?" I eventually gave up, "if only moving mountains was the problem..."

He finally slackened his grip, grabbed my backpack and thrust it into me. "Enough of the pissy kid act. I'll help you, but you need to grow up!"

Easy enough for him to say!

I threw my bag down, "how can I when everyone treats me like a child? Everyone wants to tell me how to live my life, every chapter's already planned out for me!"

"You know the only reason we do?" He shoved his fat digit in my face, "you let us! Come on girl, you're stronger than this! Now pick up that bag, and take control, before it's too late." My teeth ground, wanting so much for him to be wrong.

But he wasn't.

I stood up and the lights faded, the whole room dimmed whilst Shane's form stood, his expression scolded me before disappearing. I was left all alone.

Sharp pains overtook my abdomen, my belly swollen to full term. The pain radiated from my back before burning through my body, a screech ripping through my throat. Buckled knees threw me to the ground, I reached between my legs, my fingers coming up with blood.

There was no help for me or my babies, I've never been so petrified. I got the urge to push, I held my breath...

I'm not ready for this.

Negan appeared, he knelt behind me and grasped my hand, "breathe baby!"

"I can't! I can't!"

"I love you baby, I'm sorry! Come back to me!" My husband's words stirred me; the pain whirring back with the force of a freight train.

I'm not ready for THIS.