My Virtual Journal

11.

Don't tell me that I'm beautiful
Until you've seen the marks
Etched in my skin
And the ones on the inside
On my heart
That I hide.

Don't tell me that I'm strong
Until you've seen me break down
Fall apart
Time and time again
And cry until the tears
No longer come.

Don't tell me that I'm a wonderful person
Until I shut you out completely
And push you away
Because I promised myself
That you are just like the rest
And you'll get tired of me too.

Don't tell me that I'm lovely
Until you've seen what nights are like
And the terror that sometimes possess me.
Seen me sob and tremble
And question "why me?"
Until I run out of air
And collapse.

Don't tell me that I'll get through this
That this is only temporary
Until you've seen the inner torment
Inside of my mind
And the demons that refuse
To be silent.

But if you have seen that other part of me
The scars, pain, insecurities and bitterness
That I hide
The voices that whisper during the day
And scream during the night
The darkness lurking behind my smile
And you still stay by my side
And think me truly beautiful
Then maybe... Just maybe... I believe you.