Year 12 (First Draft)

-Chapter 18-

   Those of us they've cast aside, we aren't any less useful to them than those in the Academy. They will always make it seem that way, and some people even truly believe they are benefiting society by not being a part of it.

   I close the book, feeling as though I am speaking to Kane while reading it. I can see some of him in the writing; in the powerful, brooding entity manifested throughout the words in front of me. If Mr. Porter were alive today, he'd be beyond proud of his son and all the things he has accomplished. I know I am. Kane loves people and is willing to do anything he can to protect those around him. I'm too selfish to be running this rebellion in his place, and I know it. I would sacrifice myself for this cause, but I don't think I can hand over Kane. That scares me, that feeling in my gut that I have to protect him no matter the cost. I've changed and matured a lot in the past couple of months, but I still have miles to go.

   "So, you never really told me how you became involved," I say to Andrea, sitting down next to her on the couch cross legged, mug in hand. I hand her her drink and sit back, waiting for her to expand on my question.

   She smiles slightly, and turns to me, taking a sip of her coffee. "I went to live with my aunt and uncle a couple of months before the Agents came and tore the family apart. My mom, she passed away three months prior and my dad couldn't take it, he always told me I reminded him of her." She pauses briefly as if imagining another time, another place. "He dropped me off with my aunt and uncle and I haven't seen him since."

   "Kane never told me," I say, shocked.

   "I'm not surprised. He doesn't talk about that time very often. That night when the Agents came into the house, I was asleep in the attic where I had been staying. Nobody knew I was there outside of my family, so they never went up into my room; they never found me. I heard the shouting, the confusion. I will never ever forget the look I saw in Kane's eyes when he came upstairs. I've only seen that look in his eyes a couple of times. When his dad died, when he found out about his mom's deteriorating health, and when he watched that bullet go into your body."

   I feel a pang of sadness, knowing the look she is referring to. I saw that look in his eyes right before I fell to the ground; the last time I saw Kane in person.

   "My cousin is strong, but he isn't without weakness. His heart is bigger than his brain. He would give up anything to save those he cares about. That's what scares me." Hearing Andrea admit she's scared will always be like a blow to my system. She wears the faux confidence well, nearly convincing me. Nearly.

   "I will do whatever it takes to bring him back," I say, hating the way my voice shakes, and the way my heart squeezes in my chest as though someone is gripping it in their hand.

   "I have no doubt that you will," Andrea says, her smile sad, yet graceful. "Just don't get hurt in the process. He'd never forgive himself if something happened to you, especially if it was on his behalf," Andrea sighs, her smile dropping. "I know you've heard that many times. I just... I can't express how important it is. I don't say it to be selfish, but I need my cousin, and I know I'm not alone. There's a whole country who needs him. And I know that you need him too."

   I dip my head down, hoping she doesn't notice the pink tinge to my cheeks.

   "It may sicken me," She says, her voice playful, and I know she's not serious, "but you two need each other. Watching you wallow around here is too much for me. I don't want to see him like I've seen you," and in all seriousness she adds, "I couldn't handle it."

   "I promise to be careful," I say, meaning it. I don't want to hurt anyone. When did my life start to mean so much? Not long ago, the only person who cared about what happened to me, was me. Now, my life, the one things that should be mine, the Government is trying to manipulate in hopes of furthering their agenda against Kane. Kane cares. Andrea cares. Everyone in this building is hoping for my well-being, especially since Kane's life depends on it.