SWIM // MITCHEL CAVE

(II) 11- movie night

Mitchel's POV

We had been back in LA for around a week now and I still hadn't seen Jaz yet which was annoying but I was trying not to smother her too much as I knew that was the last thing she'd want. We had still been texting and so I wasn't completely suffering without her but messages still weren't the same as being able to see her face to face.

She did however agree to coming over tonight to join all of us having a movie night and so the day was dragging in as I waited for her to arrive. I was probably getting more impatient due to the fact Cat had practically lived here the whole week and spent her time permanently attached to Clinton's side, and so seeing them all lovey dovey just made me wish that she was here too.

"Can you stop that?" Christian sighs.

I look over at him and I see he's referring to my constant foot tapping and I grudgingly stop so to not annoy him further. Despite being best friends we still weren't the best after our blow out on tour and constant arguing. He had been easier on me this week as I still remained clean and I hadn't touched any drink or pills since before Australia. Today however, he was in the worst mood and I didn't know why.

"What's up with you?" I ask taking a cigarette out the packet.

Having a smoke was the only vice I still allowed myself and if I didn't have that then I probably would have caved for one of the others by now.

"Nothing" He mutters.

"There's clearly something wrong" I reply.

"Doesn't matter" He sighs.

I roll my eyes and give a sigh in response back, I really don't know why he was keeping things from me. We always go to eachother for help I guess recently I made that a bit hard. I get up and walk to go to my room leaving him alone in his thoughts as I decide it's best not to press any more tonight in case it causes any unwanted tension for later.

I have a shower and it relaxes me and also kills some time as I still had an hour before Jaz was due to come over. I wasn't sure why I was nervous for her to come, maybe it was because things were going well and I was scared to ruin it again as I had a habit of doing so.

I get out the shower and look at myself in the mirror; a new one after I smashed the last one into pieces. I hadn't looked at myself properly for months, mainly because I was scared of what I would see. I had been a mess and I didn't need a reflection telling me that. Just now I looked okay, my eyes were clear and the bags under my eyes had disappeared and I could see that being sober had worked wonders for my appearance.

Sadly though I knew it was only temporary. My body was already itching for a drink or a dab of powder, hell I'd even just take a xanax. I just needed something to get rid of the constant voices in my head telling me to cave. I didn't want to and I was trying hard, so hard because I knew the moment I did then I was going to lose the hope of getting Jaz back.

This had been the longest id gone without anything and it was a miracle I had made it this far but I had a bad feeling that was all going to come undone soon.

I shake my head trying to stop thinking about it and I walk back out into my room ready to get dressed. I almost jump out my skin when I see Jaz sitting in my bed flicking through the channels on my television.

"Man you take longer in the shower than me" She says shaking her head.

A smile works it's way on my face, I had missed the sight of her waiting on the bed for me like she often did in the mornings as she was more of a sleeper and I was more of a person to get up and ready early.

"You're early" I state.

She nods her head confidently while finally landing on a channel playing friends, no surprise there.