Dancing Through The Night

Chapter 10 - Alannah

I hope he didn't see me earlier. Sometimes, I get so lost in the music that I forget everything. Then I sing along the lyrics in my head. It helps me forget about Harry, or at least to stay focused on what an idiot he is. Singing in my head can easily turn into humming in public, or even worse, singing with actual sounds coming from my throat. I used to sing when I was younger, but with no practice I can't even hold a tone. With earphones in, it sort of just happens that I don't realise the sounds I'm making in the real world, while the dream world songs are so loud in my head.

Whoever saw me looking for my keys must have seen me lose them. Or maybe he just found them. For all I know someone saw me in the dark. Someone hidden in the dark. Did I dance earlier? That would be so embarrassing. I shouldn't care. No-one here knows me anyway. I probably should make an effort getting to know more people in the neighbourhood, but it doesn't have to be this way. At least I didn't shout through the night, waking up the whole neighborhood like the guy who found my keys.

As I walk away, listening to Ed Sheeran, I make an effort not to fall into swinging mode. Concentrating hard I manage for most of the way to walk straight and steady. Just as I turn around the corner into my street, I notice a light humming and head nodding. To check the noise level, I take out one of the ear phones and make a quiet mhm sound. The wind would have overblown my humming. The head nodding and swaying, probably not.

I'm getting better at not waiting for Harry's calls anymore. Night after night I'm working on my business and today I finally handed in my resignation. My boss was happy for my resignation to take place after taking holidays, so I qualify for maternity leave. At the same time I discussed all the legalities of self employment with him, not stealing his clients and so on.
I figured that it would be best to get started on my business before the news about my pregnancy make the rounds. Discrimination back and forth, from experience I know that it will be much easier getting my first clients not being pregnant. I can already notice all the textbook changes, from bigger boobs to a small bulge. It's not visible with clothes on, but I'm fascinated looking at that steadily growing curve from all angles. If I was in a bikini, people would probably think I digged in a bit too much during dinner. My reflection in the mirror gives no sign away from a pregnant belly. I slowly slip up my top and slide my hand over the skin. It's still hard to believe that a small person is growing there, a person with a heartbeat. Yesterday I heard it for the first time. It was wonderful, magical and scary all at once. Somehow, it made the pregnancy more real. I'm going to be a mum. After the appointment yesterday I went past some shops and bought the cutest bodysuit; a white one with a few colorful feathers along the neckline. It will work for a boy or a girl. A bit overpriced, probably, but this is likely going to be my only child, so what?

While lying in bed I'm thinking about all kinds of possible excuses for the weekend. It's my aunt's birthday party and I don't want anyone to know yet. There'll be toast after toast and they will ask me why I'm not drinking. Most people make their pregnancies public at the twelve week mark but I figure it's best to wait. Not that I think that my parents would deliberately go behind my back but I am convinced they won't take the news lightly. Their poster daughter without a husband - no, stop - without a partner is pregnant. And quit her job. The news won't go down well. There'll be arguments, discussions and advice and who knows who'll hear bits and pieces. Waiting another few weeks to break the news won't hurt anyone. I'm just going to tell them Saturday night that I'm on Antibiotics.