𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖊

chapter thirty three

"it makes me feel...happy. warm, ed's."

i inhaled deeply as i moved closer, tilting my head as i questioned him further.

"what about when i do this?"

i moved my hand towards the centre of his face and gently began stroking his bottom lip, which was now hanging open, with the pad of my small thumb. i touched the chapped skin with care and fragility, licking my own lips at the thought of his.

"i..."

he didn't say anything for a moment, and instead just stared at me in awe as i used my other hand to cup the side of his face and brush messy strands of dark curls away from his auburn eyes. everything was unsettlingly quiet, and if it wasn't for the soft glow of the moonlight reflecting off richie's glasses through the window, i probably wouldn't have done what i did next.

"what about..."

i leaned in close.

"when i do this?"

richie didn't move a muscle as i pressed my lips up against his own, standing on my tippy toes in order to reach a comfortable angle. his arms remained limp by his sides, and his breathing stopped as i stayed close for a few seconds.

once i pulled away, he shook his head, blinking confusedly. i immediately began to panic, terrified that i'd ruined everything and that richie would leave again. i awaited any sort of reaction nervously, internally hyperventilating.

but instead of leaving, he smiled.

"it makes me want to do it again."

he said softly, swaying his head from side to side to the melody in his head that always seemed to blur out the rest of the world. i bit my lip to stop myself from smiling, looking down at my feet.

"richie?"

i asked quietly.

"yes?"

i looked up and gazed directly into his eyes, wanting to catch every flicker of sincerity as i took a deep breath in.

"do you like me? as in...do you like me the way a boy might like another girl? in the way that makes you want to hold someone, and...kiss them. do you like me like that?"

richie stared blankly at me for a second, his eyes switching between the ceiling and my own.

"is it bad if i do?"

i shook my head gently.

"no, it isn't."

i reassured him, stroking his cheekbone all the while. he shrugged slightly, sighing.

"if you're sure...then yes, i really like you ed's. you're my favourite person in the whole wide world, i want to marry you!"

i chuckled lightly at his words, a lonely tear trailing down my left cheek.

"maybe when we're older."

richie beamed at my suggestion, nodding eagerly.

"that's okay, we can wait till we're older. i'd wait more than a hundred years to be with you eddie, even a million!"

he giggled at his own words, which caused me to do the same. i sniffled as i wiped at my cheeks. richie's face dropped at this, and his bottom lip began to tremble.

"why are you crying ed's? do you not want to get married?"

his voice cracked, and i almost laughed at the irony of it all.