She's My Queen

Chapter 11: Can I Love You

He stands up abruptly and strides over to the window, leaving his back facing me. "I-I can't look at you."

"Edward..."

"Just go, Catherine, just go."

"Stop pushing me away!" I protest. "Every time I think we're getting closer, you just get further away."

"I said. LEAVE."

Feeling tears prick the back of my eyes, I stride out of the room.

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I go to bed early that night, too emotionally drained to do anything. The last thing I want to do is spend my night obsessing over Edward, but my mind has other ideas...

I dream about him. His piercing blue eyes. His roman nose. His large warm hands, calloused but gentle, roaming my body. His lips, hungrily exploring mine. My dream shifts, and I'm watching him ride on a white horse, all tall and magnificent, like the king he is. A group of men on smaller brown horses are following him. Suddenly, a few of them begin to ride ahead of Edward, gradually forming a circle around him. I try to speak, but my voice won't come out. The circle of men start to start release arrows at Edward. He sweeps his sword in an arc, deflecting all the arrows but one, which lands in his chest. Horrified, I scream and jerk out of my dream.

Panting heavily, I sit up in bed. What the hell was that? My dream seemed to mirror what Calchantis had told me the other day. Was it just my mind conjuring something up, or was it a vision of some sort?

"Ugh, whatever. It's not like that jerk wants to be saved," I shake my head and am about to get out of bed when I notice my right hand is coated in a sticky substance. Frowning, I bring my hand up to my face and squint at it. It's blood. A drop of blood lands on my eyelash, and I blink, confused. Where is it coming from? Another drop lands on my arm. Another on the tip of my nose. That's when I tilt my head up to look at the top of my canopy bed.

I scream.

There's a dead man. His throat is slit open, and his face is contorted in terror. Four swords pin him to the top of my bed.

I make a strangled sound as the blood continues dripping over me, rolling over my arms and staining my white nightgown. 

I start to scream. 

To my relief, Edward and four guards soon burst into my room. "Catherine? You okay?" Edward asks worriedly.

"Edward!" I choke out, "the-there's a man..."

After taking a steady look at the dead man, he rushes over to my side and pulls me into his arms. "It's okay," he whispers as I begin to sob into his chest.

"Who would do this?" I ask him, sniffling.

"It's a warning from our enemies. They don't want us married."

"How did it even get in here?" I say between sobs. "And Edward, they'll try to hurt you too. I think they're trying to say that this will be you if we get married. I-"

"Shhh," Edward cuts me off, stroking my hair with a surprisingly gentle hand. "Don't worry, I won't allow anyone to hurt you."

"No, I'm worried about you getting hurt, not m-"

"I'm fine," he replies calmly while pulling me off my bed. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

"Edward," I glance back at the dead man and suck in a deep breath. "I don't want to come back in here."

"Don't worry, I'll have the guards get rid of him," Edward assures me.

"No," I grip his arm, "I'm scared. Can I...can I maybe stay with you tonight?"

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"You feeling better now?" Edward asks me as I climb into his bed after taking a bath.

"Yes," I smile, "thanks for letting me stay here. But are you sure you don't want to take the bed?"

Edward shakes his head from the window seat, "nah, I like it here." He blows out the candle above his desk and the room turns dark. "Goodnight, Catherine."

"Edward..." I pull my sheets tighter around myself, "I can't stop thinking about that man. I'm scared..."

"Do you..."Edward trails off for a few seconds, "want me to lie down next to you?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay."

"Thanks."

I feel my entire body heat up at the sound of the bed creaking under the pressure of Edward's body. I gulp, noticing that my heartbeat is speeding up dramatically.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you tell me to leave earlier?" I blurt out, "after-after we kissed? Was it...bad?"

For what feels like hours, he doesn't reply. I'm beginning to think that he's gone to sleep when
he finally replies, "No. It was...good. I told you to leave because I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"I felt something when I kissed you. It was a feeling that I've never felt with anyone, and I was afraid."

I can't help a silly grin. "Maybe you have a crush on me."

"What does that mean?"

I search for his hand in the darkness and grab it. "What do you think it means?"

"Catherine," he whispers, his voice husky, as if he has just come back from a run.

"Wha-" I'm about to say when he suddenly rolls over and pulls me into his arms. I gasp as I land on top of him. Before I am able to respond, his lips are on mine. I kiss him back eagerly, knotting my fingers into his hair. Soon, my clumsy hands are fumbling around with the buckles of his belt.

"Let me," he whispers in my ear. I shudder. Swiftly, he removes his belt and pants. He rolls me over so that he is on top of me.

My mind is screaming at me. You're a virgin! Do you even know what you're doing? But I can't think straight. The only thing I know is I want him. Desperately.

"Are you sure?" Edward asks, staring down at me, his eyes wide. I answer by pressing my lips against his. Slowly, he thrusts himself inside me and I wince. The pain is soon replaced by a wonderful fullness.

"Please, Edward," I moan against his lips, digging my nails into his back, "more, please." He's moaning too as he starts to move faster.