Worth Something

    Dear World,

    You may not know me, and I may not know you. I've stayed quite most of my life and only observed the world from the back. I've studied what I've seen and learned what's right and wrong. I'm typically not the kid you notice, because I'm the kid who doesn't talk unless I'm around my friends. For the most part, I feel completely normal when I'm around people I actually like.

    I have a mom I truly love, a dad I also love but don't see often, a brother who I don't really know much about, and a sister who is so much older we can't connect. My friends are amazing and bring light to my day. I guess you could see that from that, I'm normal. I don't feel normal. I feel different, ever since a young age. It wasn't until I stepped back and stopped observing the world to instead observe myself, that I put a label on it.

    I was comfortable with that label after I got use to it. But from observing the world, I saw the way it could react to differences. The hatred people had towards others they didn't even know, just because they were considered different. So I was gripped by paralyzing fear with the mere thought of confessing this label, but I suppose to rip it off like a Band Aid. 

    I'm gay.

    It's not a shock to anyone really. It's just a simple fact, same as stating I have blonde hair and blue eyes. It's just a part of me, so why make this letter sound like a big deal for just two words when the rest of the world doesn't care anymore? Because no matter how accepting the world gets, it doesn't stop the fear that freezes you to the root when you think of coming out. That's because the other kind of people don't have to come out, so they never have to feel that fear, so it is and will be a big deal.

    Maybe I do want it to be a big deal because I want someone close to me to look at me in this new light and tell me I'm still normal. I'm not dumb enough to think the entire world will accept and love me with open arms, but maybe I can help the world get one step closer. I've been watching it for a while after all.

    So maybe this letter won't be read by anyone. Maybe no one is gonna care about it. Maybe it's not gonna gain the attention of someone big in the world. And maybe it won't win, but that doesn't matter to me. It's about coming out and I did. If anything, I hope a young kid can stumble on this and read it and realize he's not alone, even if it's years from now. Then this letter might be worth something.

Love,

Michael