Tainted: Origins of a Psycho

Valentine's Day

February 14, 1998

Vincent:

My chest was rapidly moving up and down as I sat in the front office waiting for my turn to speak to the principal.  I looked down at my trembling hands and inhaled a deep breath to calm myself down.  The principal was a mean old woman who loved yelling at students, and I knew that when she heard what I did in class she was going to rip me a new one. 

The school secretary glanced over at me with disgust and began whispering to one of the other teachers.  Everyone was acting like I was some kind of hoodlum, but they had no idea what happened earlier that caused me to snap.

My mind drifted back to the incident and I found myself becoming angry.

Today was supposed to be a good day.  When I woke up this morning I was so excited because it was Valentine's Day.  This was the day we could show people how much we love and care for them; and this year I decided to make something special for a girl named Annie, the prettiest girl in the entire third grade. 

I remember when I saw her for the first time at the beginning of the school year.  She came into the classroom wearing a pink dress and yellow shoes, her curly black hair flowing down her shoulders like dark chocolate.

My stomach filled with butterflies, and they've been in there ever since, waiting for the day I was brave enough to talk to her.

Today was supposed to be that day. During the Valentine's Day party, I planned to give her the beautiful card that I made for her last night. It was heart made from red construction paper that contained a love poem written especially for her. I knew that when she saw it she would be so happy that she would give me a big kiss!

All morning long I thought about what I would say when I gave the card to her. I'd start by telling her how pretty she is, then I'd take her by the hand and ask her to be my girlfriend.

The moment of truth finally came when the teacher announced the party. She stood at the front of the room with two sacks of chocolate candy in her hands and said, "Alright, boys and girls, you will have five minutes to hand out your Valentine cards. Please be sure to write your name so they know who it's from."

Everyone darted from their seats and began handing out their cards. I gave everyone else the lame store bought cards my mom filled out before pulling Annie's card from my backpack.

I sucked in a deep breath of courage before approaching her. She was talking to one of her friends when I tapped her on the shoulder, my face burning hotter than the sun wearing a sweater. When she turned around and looked at me with those beautiful green eyes I lost it.

"Here, I made this for you!" I cried, handing her the heart shaped card and running to the back of the room. I crouched behind a desk and watched intently as she read the love note, eagerly waiting for her reaction. She stared at it for a moment, then did something that made my heart shatter into a million pieces.

She started laughing.

"Eeeew, look what Vincent gave me!"  She said, holding the card up for everyone in the class to see.  My face began burning as she read aloud the poem I'd written.  "Annie, sweet Annie, your beauty is uncanny.  Your pretty green eyes make me feel happy and free, oh sweet Annie, won't you go out with me?" 

The other students burst into cruel laughter, pointing at me and making kissing noises, while Annie ripped the card into pieces and stomped all over it.  She looked over at me with a frown on her face and said, "I would never go out with a dweeb like you!  You have cooties!"

Sweat began to pour down my face and I thought about something Daddy told me just a few days ago. "Son..." His voice echoed in my head, "You must never allow a female to make a fool of you.  They are inferior to us and must be punished when they try to act out."