Dead Apples

28- Lunch Dates

"Did he ever tell you why?" She looks up at me, her eyes looking watery and sad, which surprises me because I was expecting her to be angry this entire time. "Why he was sleeping with her?"

"Yes, but I don't think that it would help you to know what he said," I warn her slowly.

"No, I want to know why," She insists. "I can't ask him because I can't stand hearing his voice or seeing his stupid face. I just want to know why he would do this to me. To us."

"He told me that he didn't want to hurt you," I begin, really not wanting to tell her the truth but I've lied to her enough that it's the least that I can do now is to just tell her what I know, if that's what she wants. "But he fell in love with Gabby when he got arrested. She worked for his lawyer or something. He said that he didn't love you anymore, even before he met Gabby. But he really cares about you, which is why he didn't want to hurt you."

"He thought that stringing me along after falling out of love with me wouldn't hurt?" She looks at me incredulously, waiting for me to have more answers. "Doesn't he realize how fucking pathetic that makes me feel?"

"That's what I told him when he said that to me," I promise her quickly. "I tried to convince him to tell you. Or maybe at least just break up with you so that you wouldn't have to get hurt. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but that's what he told me."

"Why was he telling you anything? How did you even find out about Gabby?" Her eyes are getting even more watery now as she sniffles and grabs a napkin from the table to wipe her nose.

"They were hooking up in the park when I was walking Zero. It was before the carnival, before I got to know you. And then he asked me not to say anything to you."

She hides her eyes behind the palm of her hand. "This is such a disaster. He really just told me that he was going to meet his cousin. I can't believe that I was so stupid."

"You weren't stupid," I assure her. "I think he's very charming, obviously, and you were charmed. People always want to believe the best in the people that they love. Until they blatantly give you a reason to doubt them, and even sometimes, that isn't enough."

"What do you mean?"

"Robby hasn't given me a reason to believe in him for so long, and yet, I'm still fighting for him. I see the best in him, because I love him. And you loved Dex, so you saw the best in him and ignored any signs that you may have seen. You can't blame yourself for what happened, Amber. It's not your fault."

"But it was so obvious," She mutters. "I keep thinking back at how obvious it really was. I shouldn't have needed you to tell me that he was cheating. I should have figured it out on my own. I really thought that he was one of the good ones."

"I'm sorry," I say quietly, because I don't know what else to say. Even after I saw him cheating on Amber, I had thought that he was one of the good ones for some reason, but I'm too ashamed to admit that.

"It's not your fault that it happened," She sniffles and drops her hand from her face. "And I know that it's not mine either. It's Dex. I was a good girlfriend, I was always honest with him and I treated him right. I thought that we were so good together, because I thought that he treated me right too. I... I thought that he loved me."

"Well, I guess now, you can find somebody that really does love you," I suggest, trying to help her find the silver lining of this situation. "Dex is all talk, no substance. You deserve somebody that really means what he says."

"Yeah. I'll be fine, I know. In the grand scheme of things, I'll get over it. It just sucks. It really fucking sucks," She mumbles to herself. "I don't know, I just always saw us growing old together. Getting a house, marriage, kids, pets, all of it. I could see it so clearly, I was so sure that we had our entire future ahead of us."