Dead Apples

24- Video Games

The next day, Amber isn't answering my calls and I'm not answering Dex's. Sage stays with Amber to help her with her breakup and I try to figure out what my next step is. I just want to get back to normal, like how things were before I ever walked into Tyson's basement and like I never met Dex.

There's not really much that I can do, really. I guess that what I'm going to do now is to pretend like nothing happened and just let things pan out on their own. I'll give Amber some time before I go back to apologize. Sage told me that I should give her some space while she deals with everything.

Yesterday, I tried to apologize even more, but she mostly just yelled at Dex a lot and then left with Sage. Dex tried to yell at me and blame me for his ended relationship, but I wouldn't have it. I knew that it wasn't really my fault that Amber broke up with him. If he wasn't sleeping with somebody else, there would have never been a problem.

Then, Gabby eventually convinced Dex to leave as well, and I went into my house with Zero.

Today, I go through a normal daily routine. I walk Zero to the park, do some sketching, and I call Robby. I vent to my brother about what happened yesterday, but he doesn't give me very much helpful advice. His advice for any problem that I have is to punch somebody in the face. Although I would like to punch Dex right now, I don't think that's going to solve anything.

As I'm eating lunch at my dining room table, I get another call from Dex that I easily ignore. I don't want to talk to him right now and I think that everybody just needs their space after what happened last night. I'm not interested in what he has to say—mostly because I'm afraid that I'll just start drooling over his every word again if I hear his voice. I just got out from under his spell, I'm not sure how easy it is to get pulled back in.

My phone bings again with a text while I'm eating my sandwich. I'm expecting it to be Dex or maybe Sage to give me an Amber update, but I'm surprised when the name on my phone reads 'Javier'.

He had texted me yesterday too, but I ignored it because of everything that was happening. I almost ignore it again when I stop myself to think. I had a nice night with Javier two nights ago at the bar. I should be hesitant of him because of his choice of friends, but maybe it wouldn't kill me to just text him back. Or at least see what he wants.

I've been so caught up in my infatuation with Dex that I've almost completely overlooked Javier as a legitimate crush. I couldn't stop thinking about Dex long enough to realize that he isn't the only guy that exists in the universe. What happened yesterday though, was like getting a bucket if cold water dumped on my head. I suddenly realize how ridiculous I've been acting, and how ridiculous I've been in only seeing Javier when I've been drunk.

He really is a nice guy from what I can tell so far, maybe I should give him a chance. However, the lack of Dex does not solve the issue of my debilitating lack of self confidence. I don't need a boy in my life, I just need to let it all go.

The new text from Javier starts to bug me though, like an itch that I can't scratch until I finally unlock my phone and read what he sent me.

Busy today?

It's such a simple text that is so easy to respond to. And yet, I don't. I just lock my phone and finish my sandwich because I shouldn't lead him on if I don't have the emotional capacity to date somebody.

Then again, I had thought that it could be possible when I was thinking about Dex. How come I could overcome everything that I hate about myself just for some asshole who has pretty eyes, but I still can't think of being with Javier? He's never given me a reason to dislike him. Just because his eyes aren't so blue? Or that he doesn't have so many mysteries? Those are good things, they shouldn't make me not want to be with him.