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You guys I am absolutely blown away, we have hit 10k reads! I can't believe it! This story started out as a simple request from a few of my readers, I thought it would be a fun exercise. I never expected it to grow into this. Thank you so much for all your support! To celebrate here's your update! I hope you enjoy it!!!

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Jo

I didn't want to go back to my room. I was so upset I just needed to move. I was sore and achy from the day before but it didn't matter. I went straight to the gym. I threw open the door and didn't bother acknowledging the other people working out. I went straight over to the mats and immediately started moving through set after set. I pushed myself faster and faster each time as though if I just moved fast enough, just worked hard enough I could push the thoughts of Negan from my mind.

I don't know how long I was in the gym. I didn't hear or notice anyone coming or going until the door clicked open and Dwight stepped in. I turned to see him and scowled. I didn't want to talk to anyone and certainly not him. There was no way he came here by choice. I didn't understand why Negan continued to send Dwight after me.

When Dwight met my eyes he didn't look any happier to see me than I was to see him.

He walked over to me, carefully looking me up and down. It was only then that I noticed the sweat that soaked my shirt. I wondered if he was checking to see if I had a knife in my hand or if Negan would make him give a full report.

"Negan wanted-" Dwight started to say.

I whirled towards him, my eyes flashing dangerously. "I don't give a shit what Negan wants," I growled. I was beyond done. I was angry at Negan and angry at myself for allowing myself to be blinded by my feelings. I was better than this. My chest felt tight, like the tangled web of betrayal and hurt would choke me. But I hadn't been betrayed. Negan had never claimed to be anything but exactly what he was. It was my own expectations that led to my disappointed.

Dwight's eyes widened and he stepped back from me.

I pinched my lips together and turned away from him stalking towards the door. I was once again taking my anger out on the wrong person. Dwight didn't deserve it. He was just doing his job and trying to survive in Negan's world just like the rest of us.

"They're leaving soon-" Dwight started to say as I passed him.

"I don't care," I snapped back and moved towards the door. "They don't need my help."

"So I'll bring him your regrets then?" Dwight called after me cheekily.

I whirled back towards him, my eyes hard and dangerous. Dwight pulled back again, but this time held his hands up in surrender. I didn't relent until he dropped his eyes respectfully. I wasn't someone he got to walk over and as soon as he thought he could I had lost all I had worked for here. I didn't need Negan to help earn my place here, I was every bit as strong as anyone here. And they didn't get to forget that.

I stalked back through the factory. My skin still itched. I felt like I was off balance. I didn't know what I wanted, didn't know where to go.

Stop, reset.

That wasn't exactly true. I wanted to be with Negan. I wanted the two of us to be out in the woods going after Martinez. We worked well together, there was no denying that. But I had dropped my guard last night, allowed myself to be vulnerable and gotten too close. I was mad, but it was mainly at myself. I needed to get control of my emotions. I needed to shut them down and just focus on my job here. 

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