You Drive Me Crazy

4 : utopia

Fuck off? That's exactly what Harry was going to do. He was going to fuck right off and never come back. He didn't want to see that lad ever again, despite what his heart was telling him.

He stormed down the road in the same direction he'd come from, brown box in hand, and planned to head home. It was a long trek, but Harry could've done with the fresh, pleasant air to fill his lungs; to cleanse him.

It was quite a while until Harry reached home, he'd walked slowly, kicking rubbish about when it came into sight, delicately brushing the nearby leaves with his stale, cold hands. The weather wasn't the best in London, it never was, but nevertheless he made it home.

On his journey he thought about several things: he needed to get over Nate (he was pretty sure he was nearly there but he wanted to be sure), he wanted to make some new friends since all of his present ones were associated with drugs and drink (something Harry would've preferred to escape) and he was set on developing his career. What he'd told Louis had been the truth: he did want to wait until he developed as an artist before anything of his was released but he'd made up his mind that the time to develop was now, he was going to make it be now.

Harry had always worked at his family bakery, in the back rooms, for some extra money to live off of, instead of just borrowing his dads; he knew that soon enough he'd have enough of Harry and tell him to fend for himself in the world where 'you have to make money to be happy'. His dad's words.

Between the constellation of Harry's thoughts, scattered around like the stars in the sky, Harry remembered that he needed to call Niall about Harry now joining them for their little coffee trip. He was over the moon that he'd seen Louis out of his car. It was also a chance to make a new friend, since Louis was only an acquaintance.

With the topic of friends circling in Harry's head too, he began to think about how would he actually make any. The lads he hung around with when with Nate had known each other since college, and that was a long time ago. Had he even made any new friends since then? He guessed that they'd always had their own little circle. The only time anyone new was welcomed into the group was if they spent more than one night in bed with one of their possy; and that was rare. Yet Harry was determined to try and make at least one new friendship work out.

Niall mated round with some of the golfers from his club every now and again, but... it'd just be golf talk. Zayn and Liam only knew the rough side of town and he certainly didn't want to become mixed up in the wrong crowd again.

Where had this innocent streak in Harry come from? He'd always been a hot, sex God, drugs and booze every night with the lads, and now? Now, he was hoping for the opposite of that. Louis was right, maybe he was better off without Nate.

Louis, again, had been stuck in his head, alongside all of his aspirations that came with his new 'way of life'. He didn't regret kissing Louis on the cheek. He ought to think of it as more of a 'thank you' gift than anything meaningful; Louis had made him feel better about his shitty life every time they'd crossed paths, and Harry felt like he owed him for that. Maybe Louis could be his friend? Well, he had invited him for lunch with him and Niall for tomorrow. To say the least, he was looking forward to it. And as if Niall was listening in to Harry's thoughts when he reached his front door, Niall's name appeared on Harry's huge phone screen with a picture of the bright blonde haired boy smiling as wide as the ocean above it.

Harry carefully tossed the box onto his porch steps and pressed the glowing green 'answer' button. "'HIYA LAD!" Harry had to quickly adjust the distance between his ear and his phone. How was he always so energetic and positive? Why on earth did he stick around Harry?

"Hello Neil, what's up." Harry managed to unlock the door to his flat, kicking the box in as he went.

"Nothing! I'm just ringing to let you know that I can't do Sunday," Harry was about to ask why when Niall continued, "I'm so annoyed that I can't make it but Chelsea wants to meet up and I can't say no because I can't risk angering her anymore than I already have..." Harry heard a deep sigh at the other end. He understood that Niall's life wasn't always as simple as it seemed; he had his complications and problems like anyone else.