It will never stop

Recurrence

Home is where you are supposed to be loved right? A place where nightmares are supposed to be paralyzed on sight. Living in Derry is the exact opposite, nightmares were not only invited but lived in your home like a mother or a father. Raising the children for the slaughter to an awful beast that seduces you with words just to eat the soul right from their very bodies. On rainy days like this my granddaddy would always spend his time gazing endlessly at the flooded streets below. It always made me feel like an unexpected visitor would pop up and ring our doorbell. My mother had briefly told me that he was struck with much tragedy when he was younger leaving him a shell of his usual self on days like this. Remembrance days they would call them, at least my parents did. My grandaddy Bill had always let me sit in the room on days like this and stare out with him revealing in the silence. Most people would call him senile if this was a first encounter with him, however I knew my grandaddy better than another else. It's just these days were always the hardest for him to deal with. I always wonder what complex memories he thought of on these days.

On these days I was probably the one creating pleasant experiences for him and the few friends he told me about. "Miranda?" Bill quietly spoke, I must not have heard for he lifted himself out of the chair and grabbed my wrists forcing me to look at him. "Grandad?" I spoke quietly as if not to disturb the rain. "Would you like to hear a story about my childhood?" His eyes were bright with pain. I nodded and he continued speaking an edge of pain to his voice rang through every word "On a day like this many years ago a young innocent boy made a paper boat for his brother whom he loved so much, the younger brother begged for the older brother to come out and watch the boat sail with him but the older brother couldn't for he had the flu." I nodded and he went on gripping my wrists tighter "The stupid stuttering fool let the innocent boy go out there by himself to chase a boat to his death!" He shouted dropping towards the floor. With wrists feeling like they had been severely dislocated I screamed for my mother.

Bill furiously shook my hands "It is coming back! Never be afraid of It, Or you'll end up like Georgie!" He screamed at me as tears ran down my cheeks. Luckily before anything else happened my mother ran into the room breaking Bill away from me. "Dad! What the hell are you doing to her?" Her shrill voice echoed around a room that had once been filled with so many solemn memories. Bill had regained the composure of a helpless old man " It is going to get her, we can't protect her" he whispered under his breath. Mother helped him out of the room, believing him to be extremely senile. She came back about twenty minutes later to check on her daughter. "We'll have to bandage your wrists" She said plainly looking at the dark colors that filled the small space. "Why did he do that momma?" I begged her tears still running down my face like an olympic athlete. She shook her head and grabbed my chin gently " He is losing himself Mimi, and we can't afford to turn him over to a place that can handle his mood swings. So I am going to need you to forget about what happened, I'll tell your father you hurt your wrists playing in the yard" She told me sternly. I couldn't do anything but nod at her agreeing with the nonsense spewing out of her mouth. She smiled faintly and got up to get the bandages before a weak sentence spilled from my mouth. "Who was Georgie?" Weakness sounded through the room "A ghost" She said turning out of the parlor.

PRESENT DAY 27 YEARS LATER:

Waking up from my sleep abruptly is how most of these days had gone. That same damned nightmare had plagued me ever since my brief business trip to Derry. I walked over to the bathroom and got my stuff out to shower off the memories of last night. I didn't really remember my childhood in Derry, Maine, except for a few friends whom I haven't spoken to much. A sharp set of knocks came from the front oak door. Quickly turning off the facet I called to the stranger " Hold on a minute I'll be right there." This must have not settled the guest for they kept sending that shrill knock throughout the house. Pulling on a long sundress I bolted towards the door. I don't know what it was but the door seemed larger than usual today, and heavier as I pulled it aside to reveal the cause of the knocks. "Mandy!" A woman slightly taller than me with raven black hair called excitedly hugging me. "Jasmine? What are you doing here, it's been.." I was cut off by her excited voice "Seventeen years, I know thats why I wanted to surprise you!" She paraded into my living room. I sighed and tried to remain calm while she looked carefully at the few pictures on my mantel. "Have you seen the others?" I asked quietly.

Jasmine looked up with a sad smile on her face "I'm afraid that's why I've headed this way, remember Karen Uris?" she said quietly. I nodded faint memories of Karen played through my head. "Something happened and she ended up being taken from us." She choked on the words that left her mouth. My chest felt heavy, how could someone I have not seen in so long bring such sorrow to me. "Why didn't anyone call?" I asked quietly "We thought it best to deliver this in person, her funeral is going to be in a week in Derry where she wanted to be buried." Jasmine calmly said placing a hand on my back comfortingly. Jesus how could this be reality, that moment that instance I felt what was stripped from me that day. Vulnerability. Why did people only come over to deliver bad news. " Let me call my work, I'll get the week off" I told her coldly walking into my room to get my cell phone. Life always finds a way to fuck you over when things finally start going good.