Something New (Rick Sanchez X Reader)

Meeseeks and Destroy Part 3

"Oh, wow, Rick and (Y/N). Now, this is more like it. Look, there's little staircase-shaped people in here. All kinds of crazy characters. This place is great, you know? It's whimsical and fun." Morty states happily with a small grin. I let my gaze wonder over to Rick, only to see boredom and agitation consume every inch of his expression. We continue to walk forward, making our way around everyone in an attempt to find an empty table. Rick then suddenly stops in front of a seated creature that had a clear look of distaste aimed towards the taller man .

"What are you looking at, motherfucker!?" He sneers at the stair-like individual. I quickly place a hand over his chest in an attempt to hold him back.

"Whoa, hold on there, buddy." I comment to the angered man.

"Easy, Rick." Morty adds on while assisting me in removing Rick from the situation.

I slide into one of the booths with Rick sitting beside me and Morty placing himself in front of us. Not long after a large women, who I assume is the waitress, comes over to our table.

"Pay them no mind." She starts to say to the three of us. "Those stair goblins can be moody. Now, what can I getcha? We've got skarlog poppies, flurlow, halzingers, bloogies, juicy time babies." The waitress continues while waving around a pencil and notepad.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah,-" Rick face-palms, his mood showing no signs of letting up any time soon.

"..- how about some scotch whiskey? You got any of that around here? Or just a bunch of nonsense words?"He finishes.

"I second that." I bud in. I'm not a heavy drinker but boy did I really need something to take this edge off, something that my medication alone wouldn't be able to take care of. Although it didn't exactly look like it, I am just as (if not more) agitated as Rick is. I just did a better job of hiding it. I know Morty, and I know that getting angry at him wouldn't do much. If anything it'll only motivate him to carry on with his misguided attempts in trying to impress us, because in the end thats all this is. An opportunity for him to show his grandpa and friend that he is capable of doing things without our help. That there is a better way of doing things that we weren't aware of, but as I've said before he's too young and naive to see that the world is not as positive as he would like it to be.

"Rick, (Y/N)..." The young boy responds with a tired expression. "We'll have three bloogies, please. And, uh, we were wondering, is there a faster way three heroes could get down these stairs?" Morty says, directing his words towards the waitress.

"Y'all need to ride down the stairs?" An odd slug-like character intervenes behind Morty. "My name is slippely-slippery stair. I'll take you down there for 25 shmeckels." He says while littering the area around him with a thick mucus.

"25 shmeckels?" I question with a raised brow.

"We don't know how much- we don't know what that is. Is that a lot? Is it a little?" Rick asks after me with the same amount of confusion.

"That's exactly how much I spent on my big fake boobies." The waitress comments while shaking her breast. I grimace at the sudden change in subject. Just when I thought that this conversation couldn't get anymore off topic, a sudden half lizard and spider individual joins the conversation.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer. I'll buy those boobies for 25 shmeckels." He tells the large woman.

"It's a tempting offer, but I'm gonna have to decline." She responds to him, soon walking away to place Morty's order.

"Rats! What a shame." The creature responds, going off to climb the nearby wall and disappear into the corner of the building.

"Jesus fucking christ..." I whisper under my breath, letting my head fall painfully flat on the table. Trying to numb my mind of its process in trying to understand the ridiculousness that surrounds me.