How do you say “I love you”? With a kiss? A hug? Do you just speak the three words that can change everything? Well, for me, it's all of the above and more. Although it may be quite difficult to simply say it, I believe explaining it is even harder. So that's exactly what I'm going to do.
I made a list of the things that I love about Gerard. Needless to say, it is a very long list but whatever. Sometimes, it's just nice to hear why you're loved so that's my plan for today. Gerard occasionally asks why I love him and every time he does, I grab one of my notebooks that I filled with reasons, and let him read it.
I have a notebook for every year we've been together and they're really helpful to Gerard and me. We looked through them whenever we had fights or even if we were just mad at each other. They even came in handy if we were feeling down. Some of the ones on today's list are already in one of the notebooks but that's just because they're some of my favorite reasons.
I wake up a bit drowsy, yawning widely and stretching to loosen up my stiff muscles. I sit up and peer down at Gerard, noticing that he's staring up at me. I poke his nose, smiling tiredly at his blank expression. He just watches me, looking as though he's trying to figure something out and causing my smile to fade with concern.
I ask, “What's wrong, Gerard?”
He sighs, a question hesitating on his lips, “Frank...?”
“What is it?” I shift some to face him properly, assessing his tired eyes.
“... Why do you love me?... I mean, what do you love about me?”
Although I am confused as to why those questions were on his mind again, the grin returns to my face. I scoot closer to Gerard and slightly pull him to me, allowing his head to rest on my chest as I wrap an arm around him and gently run my other hand through his hair. This is the perfect way to present today's gift. It's simple, yet so full of meaning.
I begin, “I could go on and on and on, but I don't want to bore you so I'll give you my top ten.” I quickly think over my list before starting again, “1: I love the way you think; it's so imaginative and detailed. 2: I love the way you talk; certain words you say sound even more adorable coming from you. 3: I love your taste in music; you know the difference between a good song and a good beat, but you never try to change someone's preferences to match your own. 4: I love your voice; it goes great with your accent and sounds beautiful when you sing.
“5: I love the way you sleep; you look so peaceful and pretty even with your bed head. 6: I love your art: you can make these amazing creations from the smallest ideas and it's so cool. 7: I love the way you love; you don't just use part of your heart, you love with every single piece of it. 8: I love your hugs and kisses; they're so warm and sweet and slightly addicting. 9: I love that you chose me; you could have chosen any other person but you chose a guy like me. And last but definitely not the least, 10: I love loving you; it's unexplainable how happy you make me just by being my side and being able to get up every morning and know that I can love someone that means the world and more to me, it's fucking incredible.”
I mean every word, being with Gerard is by far, the best thing that has happened to me. He's the light of my life and even though I still care about my family and friends, the love I have for Gerard is beyond compare. I wish I could truly explain how much he means to me, but no words can properly describe it.
So all I can do is say “I love you”. The three words that changed my life and are currently the best way to express how I feel about my nerd of a boyfriend.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love Gerard Way.
