The Princess Bride

Chapter 15

I sighed and glanced away. "I'm starting to worry," I said honestly. "What if...." I didn't want to volcalize the thought.

"What if you can't have children?" she guessed.

I nodded dismally. "I don't even know what would happen if that's the case."

She watched me sympathetically and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry you're being made to worry like this," she said. "But I don't think it's necessary."

Curious and a little surprised, I watched her, wondering why she felt that way.

"Keira, it takes a lot of people longer than six months," she said. "It takes a lot of people a few years to have a baby."

"I know," I said.

"It took me several months," she said. "The doctor wasn't even sure I could have a baby."

"Why?" I asked, surprised by that bit of news.

"I never told you this, but there was one before you," she said. "I lost it."

"Oh, Mother," I said sadly. I'd had no idea.

"The way it happened was unusual and traumatic, and the doctor told your father that it was likely that I wouldn't be able to carry another one. I was very young and still so new to everything here, and people were talking about surrogates." She sighed.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head, not wanting pity.

"Your father was the only one in the world who knew you were coming." She smiled. "He was too stubborn to believe anything else. And a few months later..." She shrugged.

I smiled for a moment and then thought of something.

"And then I was a girl," I said. "Oh Mother, I'm so sorry." After all of that, she still couldn't give Papa an heir.

"I wouldn't trade you for a handful of boys." She smiled and then sighed wearily. "Believe me. I know!"

I laughed at that. Yes, my brothers certainly were a handful.

"You're young and perfectly healthy, and you haven't been married very long," she said.

She was right, of course.

"And you know, you didn't come along until I stopped worrying so much," she said. "Maybe that had something to do with it. Maybe it didn't, but I'm sure all the stress didn't help."

I nodded. That was probably true.

"Has there even been one day when either one of you haven't worried about this or had the world putting pressure on you?"

"I guess not," I admitted. It seemed that all anyone cared about was whether I was pregnant or not. Even the servants.

"I know it won't be easy, but you're just going to have to find a way to not let all the pressure get to you," she said. "It'll happen when it's supposed to."

"Do you really think so?" I asked. Was that really all there was to it. Just relax and it would happen?

"I do." She touched my cheek. "Look at me. I had five healthy babies. It just took time."

Smiling, I glanced down. Maybe she was right.

When I met her eyes again, there was something else there - something she wasn't saying, and I puzzled over what it might be. Whatever it was, it didn't seem bad...

"So, what about when the boys have their break from school?" I asked rather than trying to figure out her secret. "You could all come stay here then. It would be easier for Papa..."

I trailed off, wondering again what she was thinking. She was almost smiling, but seemed like she was fighting it.

"What is it?" I asked finally.

"Nothing," she lied. "I'm just not sure that will work."

Curious, I watched her for a moment, trying to figure it out. Why on earth wouldn't it work? With the boys out of school, the only real commitment to consider was Papa's work, and like I'd been about to say, it would be more convenient for him if he were actually staying in the castle. The only things that might prevent a visit would be another trip or illness, and I know they weren't planning on going anywhere. So that left an illness, but who planned for that ahead of time?

Watching my mother as she attempted not to smile made it click in my head - some people did actually plan for "illnesses".

"Oh, Mother!" I said, stunned. "A baby?" It was a little shocking to think about, but she was only thirty-six - not very old at all. It was still perfectly normal for her to have more children.

She nodded and looked so happy. "I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you need right now, I just couldn't wait to tell you."

"No," I said. "I'm so happy." Despite myself, tears filled my eyes.

"You just might get the sister you've always wanted."

As much as I truly was happy and didn't want to be jealous, I couldn't help feeling the sting a little, but I shoved the feeling away.

"When?" I asked.

"Six months or so," she said.

"Which is when the boys are out of school." I laughed, understanding.

She nodded.

"Please don't worry so much," she said. "I debated whether it was a good idea to tell you about this right now, but maybe it will be a good reminder that it'll happen when it's time."

I took a deep breath. "I'll try."