C.G Finding Lost Hope

SOME

If you see *this* in front of a word then that means I'm changing the lyrics
Faye Dixon
The wound heals but it never does. That's cause you're at war with love, you're at war with love, Yeah.

You know how it feels to have someone hold you down exactly where you don't want to be? It's like you have a demon that you can't escape. And every wrong turn could kill someone in your family. It hurts. A lot. Negan saved me about three days ago. And I was already put to work. I asked if I could leave and Negan almost killed me. So that meant I had to fight my way out.

These battle scars don't look like their fading, Don't look like they're ever going away, They ain't never gonna change. These battle-

~about two months later~

I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I had lost at least 40 pounds since these last few months with the group. I pulled up the left side of my shirt, showing the bullet wound. It was stitched up and looked terrible. It looked like a crater in my skin. It was disgusting and disturbing. I winched as the color was still purple and red. I didn't know if the doctor had stitched it right, and I wanted Carl to say that it was okay. But I knew i'd most likely never get to hear his voice again. Negan scared me almost to death (well more than usual, at least) because he slammed the door open. I screamed lightly and pulled my shirt down quickly. "Come on, i'm feeding you."

"I want to go home. Please... Let me go home. " I said and shook my head. "No, that's not gonna happen sweetheart. You're the weapon to use against Rick during the final battle." Negan smirked. "I want to see my family!" Negan rolled his eyes. "Look do you want to eat or not?" Negan was clearly ticked off.
"I guess I do. " I sighed before walking away from Negan, to the dining hall. I need to talk to Dwight. And now.

Never let a would ruin me, but it feels like ruins ruin me. Arrow holes, they never close from Cupid on a shooting spree. Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me. But when you're trying to beat the odds up, been trying to keep your nods up and you know that you should let *him* go, but the fear of the unknown, holding another lover strong send you back into the zone.

I speed walked to Dwight, he would be leaving in about five minutes if I didn't catch him. "Hey girly," D turned to smile at me. "What's up?" I looked around, making sure it was just him in close proximity. "Help me escape. Please, help me!" I said, whispering. "I'm trying Faye. I really am!" Dwight sighed. "Look, Dwight. I trust you, a lot. And know that this is possibly not smart, but I trust you as much as a father figure."

With no Tom Hanks to bring you home, another night of fighting, on the front line with a poem.
Sometimes I tend to be stupid. But trusting dwhite was one of the best decisions of my whole life. Even if he wouldn't help me right then and there, I knew he would try. And I guess that's what I live for. To find people who are leaders. Dwhite is definitely one. He said he'd get word to the group that I was okay as soon as possible, and I thanked him for it. Maybe with dwhite here, this won't be as bad as hell... Maybe, just maybe it won't.
Trying to write yourself a rightful, maybe chopping up a song, to fight the tank syndromes of *him* being alone. I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched, I wish that I could stop loving *him* so much. Cause I'm the only one that trying to keep *myself* together.

I held the plate out to Negan and Eugene. I felt tear after tear roll down my face. I wasn't crying because I was scared, I wasn't crying because I might die. I was crying for Carl. I wanted him, but he wasn't here. I just needed to make Negan think I'm weak. After I do that I can be like a Raven. Swoop down and eat his fucking eyes out. I would kill Negan. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But I will kill him.

All of my signs say that I should forget *it* I wish *he wasn't* the best, the best I ever had, I wish that *I* outweighed the bad, cause it will never be over, until *I* tell you its over.

"No." Negan had just asked me to go wash the floor in his room. "Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly?" Negan had Lucille over his shoulder. I wasn't scared this time. "I said no." I held my ground, my voice becoming even sterner. "Okay." Negan whispers and he lifts Lucille up, and I wait for her to collide into my head.

These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away they ain't never gonna change. These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away, they ain't never gonna change, these battle.

Carl Grimes

You shouldn't have but you said it. It shouldn't have happened but you let it. Now you down on the ground screaming medic.

I paced around Alexandria. Negan took Faye. She might not even be alive! Carl, don't think like that. I sighed as I passed her house for the one hundredth time today. She was my sunshine. And Negan took her away.

The only thing that comes is the posttraumatic stresses. Shields, body armor, and vests don't properly work. That's why you're in a locker full of hurt.

"Dad.." I whispered my voice cracking. That was the first time I had spoke to anyone since the fight.
"I know, I know it hurts." Dad pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back, losing Faye took a total on the whole group. Daryl hasn't left his house, Maggie has been crying for days, Dad won't talk to everyone, we lost a sense of leadership. it's like the losing her killed everyone. I mean we all have. but I know im the worst. all that I do is walk around the streets, I haven't slept in over four days, and I won't eat, and I only cried once. it's like everything is so numb. it hurts so bad.

The enemy within and all the fires from your friends, the medicine is to probably let *Negan* win. I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love, I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much. And I'm the only one that's trying to keep *her* together, when all of the signs say that I should *leave* her. I wish *she* weren't the best, the best I ever had, I wish that *she* outweighed the bad. But it'll never be over, until *we* tell you its over.

"Dad?" I asked, hoping he'd be able to answer my question. "Yes, Carl?" Dad asked, looking up at me with sad eyes. "Faye would never leave us right?" I turned my hands in my lap and stared at them. I knew her name was hard enough for Dad to hear, let alone me to say it. "She'd never. She's was too strong, Carl. She loves you too much to ever hurt you, or anyone for the matter. She would never leave without a fight." Dad assured me. I smiled. He's right. Faye would never just die. Shes way to stubborn for that.

Faye Dixon

These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away, they ain't never gonna change. These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away, they ain't never gonna change. These battle... Cuz you've seen me on fire. I've never felt so alive yeah. *you're* hoping wounds heal, but it never does that because you're at war with love.

Hope. It is a beautiful thing. I had so much hope in my group that it got me here. I guess I should find our lost hope. Maybe this is where I find it all. Maybe this is where it truly becomes my show. I know im just a kid, as im only 15. But im strong enough to be a fucking boulder. I will never let anyone bring me down and I AM a Dixon. we never go down without a fight. It's going to be a hell of a fight before I die. this is just 1 chunk out of 100 battles I will fight. im not even close to dying, and I never will. Not until I say I am.

And I'm at the point of breaking, and its impossible to shake it. See, you hoped the wound heals but it never does. That's because you're at war with love. Hope it heals but it never does. That's because you're at war with love. These battle scars, don't look like their fading. Don't look like they're ever going away. They ain't never gonna change. These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away. They ain't never gonna change. These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away. They ain't never gonna change. These battle scars, don't look like they're fading. Don't look like they're ever going away. They ain't never gonna change. These battle...