Rose Petals

Chapter Four

I laid back against the cold, hard bunk beneath me while staring up at the concrete ceiling, it was an unusual quietness about this place that honestly spooked me out. The deadening silence was suppose to be filled with crazed cackling and sobbing pain but there was none, at least not tonight there wasn't, everyone seemed to be in a numbing trace. I heard the sound of footsteps and peeked up from my cot to see the shallow light of a flashlight, a guard was passing. I laid my head back down as the shallow glow beamed in my room for a split second then vanished the next second, I closed my eyes and listened closely to everything: the bustling pipes in the wall by my head transporting things, the squeaky work shoes of the patrolling guard, the soft squalling of scared mice near the end of the hall.

There it was, those were the sounds to dose any madness, there was no honest peace and quiet and that's what scared me as I laid in the cot. I shivered as it felt like something was crawling along my skin, the thin blanket was causing me to itch uncontrollably, something was wrong with the sheets. I dug my nails into my skin uncomfortably, scratching at the irritation as I heard soft whimpering near, causing me to immediately pause what I was doing. I was alone and it was scary here, I didn't belong here and everyone knew that, I could tell by how they all looked at me. Nothing was wrong with me, I didn't have a fetish to wear women clothes like Mr. Joseph had brought up in my files, I didn't have the need to act like a woman, I wasn't a woman!

The itching returned, causing me to immediately go back to scratching viciously at my skin with my nails, it was painful but the feeling of things crawling on me was irritating. I closed my eyes and willed myself to go to sleep, because it was all in my head, I would wake up in my room with Mr. Lonnie hovering over me, waiting on me to awake. I would be able to eat a delicious breakfast that Mrs. Lonnie would sit in front of me then I would.... I would help her with the dishes, afterward, she'd ask me to help her.... help her sew a new handkerchief for Mr. Lonnie.

They were all there, all the signs that they had brought onto me. Mrs. Lonnie teaching me to cook a healthy dinner, how to properly wash caked-up dishes, how to sew shut a pair of ripped trousers, how to prepare a soothing drink for a sore throat whenever Mr. Lonnie was growing sick... they were all there. I knew how to cook, clean, sew, and take care of a sickness... the duties of any woman, and I knew how to do all of them. I looked to the window as a something soft and wet rolled down my cheek, not to mention it was warm to the feel, I reached up and wiped the stray tear before trying to pinpoint a star in the dark sky. I couldn't see any, there were no stars near this building, I wanted to cry even more, I always looked up to the sky because my Father was up there, and now I was never going to be able to look up at him again. Another tear slid down my face and they were falling faster than I could wipe them without causing to much commotion, I didn't want anyone to know I was still awake.

A soft hum caught my attention before a creak followed my door opening, it was too late, they already knew I was still awake. I looked at one of the workers as he pushed a small alloy table into the room, I was confused to what he had on the table as he moved closer to me, coming to a stop directly beside me. I frowned as I slowly sat up but was immediately pinned by my left shoulder while he lifted a syringe filled with some clear liquid. I gasped and tried to recoil away but it didn't matter because he easily penetrated my shoulder with the long needle, making me freeze immediately. I could feel the flush of the clear liquid enter my arm, which immediately went started to tingle into numbness, I looked up at his stoic face as he watched me. His stone face slowly became blurry as I made the mistake of trying to blink the blurriness away, why was it a mistake, my eyes didn't open back up. I could feel the tingling of the man's hand on my shoulder disappear as I heard his footsteps walking away, the fuzzy feeling slowly covered my entire body as the darkness appeared to swirl within my eyelids, if possible. I was trapped in my own thoughts because everything was numb, I willed my arm to move but it was useless as my eyelids still appeared to be glued shut... this wasn't good.