My Right Hand || Completed || Unedited

Five Years ♥

I miss you like everyday

Wanna be with you, but you're away

I said I miss you, missing you insane

But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

It don't matter who you are

It is so simple, a feeling

But it's everything.

No matter who you love

It is so simple, a feeling

But it's everything

-Bey

Looking out this window I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I don't know whether to move on it to wait. My heart is telling me move on, but my mind is telling me to go on with my life. People telling me I've waited for five years and you still not back, so he not coming back, but I don't believe them. Well, I didn't believe the up until the second year, and every year after that I believed even more. I lost two people that night. My mans,  may he rest in peace, and the man I wanted to be mines. Thinking back I see how dumb I was to sit around waiting on you hand and foot. Being the desperate for love type girl, and falling for you when I should have been walking on my own.

Some ask what would I do if I seen you again, and I say, I won't know until it happens. Will I still be the same vulnerable little girl?  Or will I be the grown woman I've grown out to be. Maybe this was destiny telling us we weren't meant for each other.. or she was telling us we didn't need each other at the point in time. We won't know until that day comes. The letters you wrote stopped coming around the end of year one, many promises broken, and the words I hate him left my mouth a lot. Did I mean it? Probably not. Did I want to mean it? Yeah....

-Jayla

♛ Jayla Aaliyah Watson ♛

The rain came down on the street hard, I stood on the porch looking out into the rain. I would say my life is on the exciting side. My brother and his girlfriend work a lot so my nine year old nephew lives with me. I spoil him while his mother spoils the other baby boy at home. Jayden feels as though when He's with me he doesn't have to compete because his three year old brother isn't here. That's true, but he still has to accept the fact that's his brother. I'm twenty three now, and I am a choreographer. I teach dance classes every Wednesday and Friday for ages 15-whatever age, and 14 and under on Mondays and Saturdays. When I'm not doing that, making up new dances, doing private classes, or taking my nephew out, I actually travel.. Only sometimes. I've been to Puerto Rico twice to see Sebastian, His family moved to New Jersey three months ago, and they don't live that far from me.. Only two hours. Sebastian has grown up to be a great young man, He's nineteen now, and He's just so handsome... and just like his brother... Whom I miss... so much. I'm living my life one day at a time, and I've stopped waiting on him.. No one even knows where he is..

"Auntie Bash is at the door!!" Jayden speed raced into the living room interrupting my thoughts. He has been calling Sebastian Bash for a while,  and I don't know why.

"Let him in for me please." He nodded his head and ram back towards the door. I sat up saving my journal entry and closing my iPad. I heard loud foot steps and they stopped right behind me.

"I told you to call when you were coming. You know that surprise visiting shit I ain't wit it. " I turned to him and he chuckled.

"Well damn,.how about I leave!? " I threw a couch pillow at his face.

"Don't be a smartass,  you now I work a lot. Now What's up? "

"Well." He sat down on the couch next to me pulling out a couple letters. "I was told to go by Kamari's old house, you know the one he lived in with Reese, and when I got there... These were there."

"Letters from.." I turned over two and I was surprised. "Kamari..."

"Yeah, and it got there two days ago so that means he recently sent them." I shook my head.

"Or they got lost in the mail and they sent it there four years late." I mumbled angrily opening the first one. it read...

Dear Aaliyah,

You might not believe it but a nigga miss you. I hope you living a good life baby girl and I mean it. I'm scared to come around, I don't know who's looking for me, and I would hate to interfere with your life in anyway. You probably got a new nigga, but I wouldn't know. I miss you baby girl, you and my brothers and sisters. I talked to my dad and he ready to kill me. I can't tell you where im at Jay,  I wish I could could, but promise me I'll see you soon...  sooner than you think actually. I hope youll be as happy to see me, as I will be when I see you. Te Amo mami. Por Favor forgive me..

-Love Kamari Lamar

By the ending of the letter I didn't know how to feel. I've been waiting for him to come back to me for years and now he sends this. He can be happy when he see me, but when I see him, I'm going to fuck him up so bad. I literally want to fight him... Kamari Lamar Henderson gone get all the emotions I had bottled up for years taken out on him.

"Did he tell you he was coming soon!?" Bas asked and I sighed.

"Yup."

"Are you going to fuck him up when you see him?"

"Yup."

"You think he knows it?"

"Yup..."

♚Kamari Lamar Henderson♚

"What you're failing to realize is,  I had to lie for five years for you. You could have fucking told her where you were! " Sebastian yelled at me while I drove down the highway.

"You think it's just easy to leave and walk back into people's lives?" I yelled back at him.

"You love this girl with all your heart, you've been gone for five years. Do you think when you prance back into her life, she's just going to let you in with opens arms? Thought Jay was tough before? She is a fuckin beast now." I chuckled at his statement. I know she is angry, and I can't Wait to see her mad so I can bother her about it.  

"She probably got thick..." I spoke out loud leaning on the steering wheel. "Is she thicker? Does she still look the same? Tell me some shit I need to know. Did you have a sex with her."

"WHY WOULD I FUCK JAY!!?"I laughed shrugging my shoulders.

"I don't know, who wouldn't if they had the chance." He chuckled..

"True, but naw I didn't. She still look the same though Hair got longer, she got thicker in all the right places. Her body like to die for son. She developed into a very very nice grown woman." Sebastian told me. I licked over my lips.

"Where are you now?" I asked. 

"I'm at the store getting food for Mommy and the kids. They some greedy asses yo, all they do is eat. How y'all 12, 10, 8, and 6 acting like y'all don't ever eat. They can make Roman noodles like everyone else. " He sounded really angry. When my mom see me , she gone punch on me, just like Jay.  I'm not even ready, I'm not taking this as serious as I should.

I just want to see her..... and get'er.   I want to make her mines, Yes still after these years.