lead singer || a tyler jøseph x reader

chapter 44

A/N: the days will be jumping around a lot. Some with be in order, some will skip ahead, and sometimes there will be more than one per chapter.
DAY SEVEN
(Y/N POV)
I scrolled through my emails, feeling a wave of sadness after I passed over my college acceptance emails. My dream college didn't feel like such a dream anymore.

"Whatcha looking at?" Tyler asked, sitting beside me. I closed my email quickly.

"Oh it's... nothing," I answered. He looked at me suspiciously. "I just don't know if I want to go to my dream college anymore." He looked a little surprised.

"Why?" he asked. I shrugged. "(Y/N), is it because of me?" I didn't say anything for a minute.

"Yes and no. Yes, because I want to be with you. But no, because it just doesn't make me happy anymore," I answered honestly. It had been so hard to count down the days. We only had twenty-five more days together, and it just broke my heart.

"Don't ignore your dream because of me. I'm just a guy." He looked at the floor as he was talking. "And... it's probably too late to apply to this college."

"Tyler, you're not just a guy. You're the only person I've ever loved like this. I can't lose you. And I don't even want to go to college without you... it isn't you," I explained. I sighed, looking at him. "I already applied to your college. And I got in." His head snapped up.

"You... what?" he asked in disbelief. I couldn't tell if he was happy or upset. "You got in."

"Yes." He looked at me, before he started to talk again.

"I applied to your college... and I didn't get in," he said quietly. "I want nothing more than for you to come with me, but..." He sighed. "I don't think I want to go at all."

"You don't?" I didn't even know what to say.

"I want to start up twenty one pilots, and I can't do that if I'm in school. Josh agrees." He looked at me sadly. "But I won't ask you to follow me."

"I..." I stopped myself. "I don't know what to do." And I didn't. I'd always wanted to go to college. But now... Tyler felt more important. What if we didn't work out? Then my dream would be gone...

"You can let me know." He looked at me sadly.

"Oh, Tyler," I whispered, and he hugged me tightly. "I don't think I can let you go."

"I feel the same. But you know you have to go," he answered. I started to cry.

"I know," I answered. "I don't want to, Tyler."

"Hey, we'll stay together." I buried my head in his shoulder. "You don't just lose your soulmates."

"Everything that happened to us was by chance, Tyler," I whispered, still crying. "What if Mr. Floyd hadn't paired us up?"

"Then maybe I would've worked the confidence on my own to talk to you," he answered. "We were meant to be, and this can't take it away."

"College isn't a chance. It isn't a risk. Going with you is a risk. We take risks. We take chances. I want to take this chance." I looked at him, tears still falling.

"But you can't." He wiped my tears away. "You have to go on your own journey, okay?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too," he answered as he walked away. I opened up my laptop.

And I bought a plane ticket.

It hadn't felt really real up until now. Yeah, I was going to college, but I didn't want to. I wanted to follow Tyler.

I stayed in the living room, on the couch, until Josh came in.

"Hi," I said sadly, staring at the ceiling. He came in and sat on the couch by me.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I handed him my laptop. "Oh."

"Tyler told me to, Josh," I answered. "I know he doesn't want me to go, but he says I have to."

"I think that you should do what you think is best," he advised. "Whatever you want for yourself."

"Thanks Josh," I answered. He smiled at me as he left the apartment to run errands. Do what I wanted for myself.

I decided I wanted to cancel my plane tickets.

I looked up how, and just as I was about to, I stopped.

I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I had to go. I didn't want to, but I had to. It was so hard to admit that to myself, but I did. I was going to college.

I was going to college.

Oh boy, I was not ready for this.

"Tyler, you were right," I said, walking into his room. He sat up. "I'm going."

"I'm going to miss you," he said quietly.

"Twenty-five days," I replied. "Let's make them count."