why don't we imagines & preferences

"goodbye" - Jack Avery

WARNING!: very sad and talks about death and suicide.

I legit cried writing this and i hate myself for even thinking of this.

Song i wrote to: (idk why but its the song that came on) never enough by the greatest showman
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You were sick. Very sick. You had kept it a secret for so long not wanting to bear the pain of people constantly crowding over you.

You have been extremely sick for the past 3 years and in that time you had done everything you had always wanted to do.

You lived your life but today you felt was the last day you'd ever be alive.

Sitting in your shared house with jack, you husband of 6 years. You sat alone on the bed looking out at the pouring down rain.

You had everything in front of you. All the memories you wanted to get one last look at before it was time to go.

You had wrote a letter to all your friends and family but to write a letter to your only lover was hard.

Getting up you grabbed a notepad and pen and began walking around the house

Stopping in a hallway you found the hung up art work and smiled back at the memory of when you had first moved into this place with jack and got him to hang the art up

He had dropped them a couple of times and nearly fell off the ladder but always seemed to keep that goofy smirk of his face

Walking into the lounge you smiled at the warmness. You and jack had great memories here, dancing crazily untill the late hours of the night or just bitching about people on the floor over a bottle of wine.

Next was the kitchen, you rember the first time jack cooked for you. He was a nervous reck but managed to make a mean lasagna. You laugh as you saw his apron he brought saying "kiss the chef" it was a tradition that he always got a kiss when he wore it

Next was the attic. You and jack had made it into a dance room with fairy lights and cusioned chairs and a disco ball (jacks decision of course) and smiled rembering the times you got it on down here

And so it continued as you got to each room all having different memories good and bad

Walking out into the back you sat on the steps under the covered verenda and smiled as you listend to the rain pour down.

This was where held the most memories. you and jack got married here it was also where he proposed. Its where you had dinner and lunch dates with family and friend's. Its wear your friends kids grew up and its wear you've got the most love and laughs from.

Smiling you picked up the paper and pen and began writing

"Dear jack,

Hi babe, I don't know why I am writing this, because I really hope that this letter never gets to you, because if it does that means I am dead. It also means I never had time to show you just how much I really did and do love you.

You have shown me what love is and what it feels like to be loved. Every time you kissed me and our lips touched so softly, I could feel it. I got the same magical feeling as our first kiss.

You are the beat of my heart, the soul in my body; you are me, because without you I am nothing. I love you, jack, you are my boyfriend, my fiancée and my best friend.

You are the person I know I could turn to when I needed help - you are the person I looked at when I needed to smile and you are the person I went to when I needed a hug. When I am away, it is like I have left my soul at your side.

You have shown me how to live and you have shown me how to be truly happy. I want you to know that every time I smile, you have put it there. You make me smile when others can't, you make me feel warm when I am cold.

You have shown me so much love and so much more. I want you to know how much you mean to me. You are my whole world and I love you with all my heart. You are my happiness.

Every night I spent away I had a photo of you on my headboard. Each night I would go to bed, kiss my fingers then touch your face.

I put the photo over my bed so you could look over me as I slept. Well, now it is my turn to look over you as you sleep and keep you safe in your dreams. I will always be looking over you to make sure you're safe.

Jack, I want to say something and I mean this more than I ever did before. You were the love of my life, the man of my dreams. Just because I have passed away does not mean I am not with you. I'll always be there looking over you, keeping you safe.

Promise me that you will find someone new and taht you will grow to love her more than you did me. I need you to find another and move on from me. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Have children jack. I know you've always wanted one and im sorry i could never give you one. Know i love you with all my heart and i always will but sadly i have to go.

So whenever you feel lonely, just close your eyes and I'll be there, right by your side.

Goodbye my handsom.
Love always and for ever, y/n."

With that you got up and looked at the time, it was 7:45 jack would be home in about 15 minutes and although you didnt want his to see you dead you had no other choice.

Sitting the letter on the counter in the kitchen as you knew that would be the first place hed go, you took a deep breath and slowley took the wedding band off and sat it with the letter.

Walking into the bathroom you grabbed the pills the doctor gave you to help you go quick and simple and sat on the kitchen floor opening the bottle.

"I love you all and i love you so much jack."

Looking at the ceiling you swallowed the tablets and collapsed to the floor.

The last words you heard were

"Im home my love!".