All the Time in the World (English)

Chapter 33 - A Difficult Choice

Robin awoke with a start and he immediately noticed two things: the sun had not yet risen even though the sky was already beginning to turn pink, and he was alone.
"Gisborne?"
The outlaw came out of the ruined house and he looked around, worried. The night before Guy had a breakdown and Robin wasn't sure he was completely in his right mind. With a sigh, he decided it would be better to find him before he put himself in danger doing something stupid.
He returned to the hovel to retrieve the jackets and the sweaters they had taken off when they found themselves in that hot place, and he sat down on the ground to wrap them in a single bundle.
He was almost finished when he heard a rustle behind him and he turned quickly.
Guy was at the door of the cottage and he had a bundle of colored cloth in his hand.
"Where were you?!" Robin snapped. "I thought you were gone!"
"I walked to the village and I got these." Guy threw a Saracen tunic at him, and kept the other for himself.
"Are you crazy? What do we need this stuff for? If they had seen you, you wouldn't have ended well."
"Instead, they are absolutely necessary. Last night I was too nervous to notice, but when I woke up I got to think. Reflect, Hood, yesterday we saw the soldiers of your king, do you realize what it means?"
Robin stared at him, amazed at not having thought of it before.
"That we came back too early! When we defended the castle, the king had already left the Holy Land. If he's still here, it means that he hasn't left for England yet."
Guy kept his eyes down and went on talking.
"When I entered the village, I didn't want to go back to that square, I just wanted to look for some clothes abandoned in the houses and then leave, but in the end I couldn't help it. I had to go back to the place where I committed my crime, look carefully at every detail of that cursed place to make sure I never forget it, and then ask God for forgiveness for what I did. Because even if she is alive, I killed her anyway. Without a miracle, she would have died by my hands..."
"Gisborne..."
"No, wait! I haven't finished. If it were only this, I wouldn't tell you, it would be a personal matter between me and my conscience. The point is another."
"Explain."
"There was no blood. In a place like this, certainly it doesn't rain, spilled blood would leave traces on the sand, yet there was nothing. Not in the square, not in the rest of the village. And then I saw a shed covered with a red canvas that shouldn't be there."
"What do you mean, Gisborne?"
"When the sheriff's men fought against the king's men, one of the soldiers was hit by an arrow and fell from the roof of a house on that shed, breaking it down. I'm sure because I saw him fall, I was very near. Do you realize what that means?! If that shed is still intact..."
"The fight hasn't happened yet!"
"And Marian is still unharmed. Do you realize that, Hood? We can prevent me from hurting her! I can change what I did!"
Robin looked at him.
"You can't do it, Gisborne."
"Are you crazy, Hood? Did you hear what I just told you? We can avoid what happened."
"Come here, Guy, let's sit down and talk about it."
Robin leaned back against the wall, more or less in the same position of the night before, but Guy didn't move to imitate him.
"I don't want to talk about it, I want to avoid making the biggest mistake of my life."
"I said to sit down!" Robin ordered harshly, and Guy winced.
He seldom saw such a serious and decisive expression on the outlaw's face and he found himself obeying him without even thinking about it. He dropped to the ground next to him and looked at Robin.
"Guy, I understand your intentions, really," Robin said, in a kinder tone. "But have you thought about the consequences of what you want to do?"
"Marian would remain unharmed."
"What about you?"
"What about me? I wouldn't be her murderer."
"And you would probably continue to work for the sheriff."
"No! Never again!"
"Think about it. When did you start to hate him? When did you stop believing every word that he told you? Why did you rebel against him?!"
"Because he ruined my life! Because if Marian is dead it's also his fault!" Guy stopped abruptly. "Oh."
"Yeah. Oh. What you did, the remorse for your crime, your suffering, made you the person you are now."
Guy shook his head.
"Should we sacrifice Marian for this? What if it was the right thing to do? Would it be so terrible if I wouldn't change? I'd continue to work for Vaisey, I'd probably keep following my way to hell and no one would extend a hand to save me from my fate, but she would be fine. You know, Hood, to make up for what I did, I'd be happy to burn forever."
"Stop saying nonsense. You can't know how everything would change if you stayed with Vaisey. It could be a disaster for everyone, including Marian."
"There is another way. You can stop me with an arrow. If I die in that square, I won't be able to help the sheriff."
Robin stared at him, shocked.
"The heat makes you rave, Gisborne. You can't do it, you can't play God. You can't change what has already happened. I have no intention of killing you, but even if I had, I wouldn't do it anyway. If you had died in that square, now you couldn't be here thinking about changing the past, and what would happen then?"
Guy sighed.
"I don't know. But how can we allow it?"
"She will survive, we saw it, right?"
"Miriam... She doesn't remember anything about the past, she doesn't know she's Marian. She is beautiful, intelligent and strong like her, always generous and ready to help others, so full of life... You should have seen her while she was skating on ice, free and wonderful... I remember thinking that if I died then, I would have left this world smiling. But talking to her I realized that she is different from Marian, and a lot. I told you, Robin, until yesterday I was almost certain she wasn't her, that she was another person who looked like her for some strange twist of fate... I know I shouldn't have, but I fell in love with her. And she with me."
"Marian is my wife, we have pronounced the wedding vows before she died."
"But Miriam loves me. She doesn't know who you are, she doesn't remember you anymore."
Robin remained silent for a few seconds, trying to understand his feelings.
Guy's words had baffled him and filled him with anger, sadness, and hope at the same time, along with many other emotions that he couldn't define.
He looked at Gisborne, who was sitting next to him with his head down and his hair hiding his face.
"Guy?"
His friend raised his face to look at him.
"If you change the past, if you prevent Marian from being hurt, Miriam wouldn't exist at all, are you aware of it? She wouldn't be in that future where you want to go back, do you realize this?"
"Yes."
"So why do you want to do it?"
"Because it wouldn't be right. Every happy moment I had with Miriam, I stole it from you and Marian. How could I build a life with her knowing that all I have should have been yours? You said that: Marian is your wife, her destiny was to stand by your side, and I killed her because I couldn't accept it."
Robin put a hand on his shoulder.
"We can't act hastily, whatever we decide to do. The situation is complicated and we must consider well every possibility, without letting ourselves be carried away by feelings."
"We have to save Marian."
"We will do it, but I have to find a way to do it without harming anyone else. You included. Now let's try to calm down and think about surviving. Did you find food and water in the village?"
"I saw a well."
"Well, at least we won't die of thirst. If I had my bow, I could try to hunt something, but I fear that for the moment we will have to endure hunger."
Guy searched for his coat and rummaged in a pocket, pulling out a slightly battered bag.
"I have these."
"What?"
"Cookies. I wanted to give them to Alicia, but she will understand if we eat them."
Robin took a handful of them and began to eat.
"Not bad, even if they are a little crumbled."
"If you had not pounced on me like a rabid dog, they wouldn't be so crumbled."
"And if you hadn't kissed my wife before my eyes, I wouldn't have pounced on you like a rabid dog!"
They looked at each other for a moment and they both sighed.
"No need to start arguing now," Robin said, and Guy nodded.
Guy took a biscuit and he looked at it.
"Isn't it funny, Hood? Maybe this is the only thing I created instead of destroying..."
"What do you mean? Did you make these?"
Gisborne smiled.
"Yeah. It seems so absurd now, isn't it?"
Robin burst out laughing, until he was breathless.
"Is that so funny, Hood?"
Robin thought of the face the sheriff would make if he could see Gisborne busy kneading sugar and flour, and he broke into another irrepressible laugh.
"Yes it is!"
"If my cookies make you laugh so much, you can do without eating them."
Robin tried to become serious again, without too much success.
"I didn't say this. They are good. Come here." The outlaw grabbed another handful of cookies and he looked at Guy, chuckling. "But you have to admit that everyone would be stunned to see the terrible Guy of Gisborne who prepares biscuits in the shape of... trees? Did you miss Sherwood forest?"
Guy rolled his eyes.
"They're Christmas trees, Hood. At Christmas, trees are decorated with small lights, stars and colored balls."
Robin put an arm around his shoulders and gave him an apologetic smile.
"Don't be mad, Guy, it wasn't a criticism. Really. You've changed, but I like this new Guy of Gisborne, I really do. After all, you're right: that future world suits you. When you go back there, I'll miss you."
"I never thought I'd say that, but if I can get back there, I'll miss you too, Hood."
For a while they said nothing, a little moved and a little embarrassed, then Robin broke the silence.
"Come on, we must look for water, and then we must try to understand when we arrived. For all we know, we may have arrived here years too early."
"I don't think so. The other times the jump in time took place at the right time. I think it's like that even now."
"Then we'll have to decide quickly. In the end we have two possibilities: to let everything go as it already happened without intervening, or to prevent Marian being hurt and change everything. In the first case you'll end up in the future and you won't remember anything, in the other we don't know what could happen. It could be a complete disaster or not. How do we decide what is best?"
Guy thought for a few moments.
"We don't have to decide it ourselves."
"Who, then? Do you want to throw a coin and leave it to chance?"
"Alicia made me understand something important some time ago: Marian is not yours or mine, her life belongs only to her. We are talking about her destiny, it is she who should choose it."
Robin looked at him.
"Would you like to go to her and ask what she thinks?"
"Exactly."
"Are you crazy, Guy? She will think we both became mad."
"Probable. But that's the right thing to do, it's her future, she has to decide. We could fight until death, but Marian belongs only to herself."
Robin looked at him, struck.
"You really changed, once you would never say it. But I think this time you're right. How can we talk to her?"
"I know the place where we held her prisoner, if we dress like Saracens and keep our faces hidden, it shouldn't be too difficult to enter that house at a time when the sheriff is not there."
"She will never believe it, do you realize it?"
"She will have to do it." Guy touched his hair, taking a lock between two fingers. "This didn't grow like this in a day, and if she still won't believe me, I've got the scar on my stomach. Marian knows I didn't have one, and she also knows I haven't suffered such a serious wound lately. She will have to believe at least one impossible thing, today."
"Then we should have kept some of your cookies: that's really such an incredible thing that if she believed that you cooked them, she would also believe all the rest."
Guy gave him a look of fake exasperation.
"You will never change, Hood."
Robin burst out laughing again.
"And that's why everyone loves me, right?"
Guy tossed the Saracen tunic at him with a snort, but he couldn't quite hide a smile.
"Come on, we have no time to waste."