Destined To Be With You

Chapter 18

He sighed heavily and sat himself down onto the bench against the wall. He avoided her gaze and said, "Liv, it's nothing for you to worry about. I'm just trying to deal with something right now. You have nothing to worry about, I'm still here.” The entire time he had his eyes fixed to the floor but he had to look up at her when he added, “I always will be." He had to meet her gaze because he wanted her to know he truly meant it.

Once Ben looked away from her to his hands on his lap, she sat herself on the bench right beside him and asked quietly, "Well, what are you trying to deal with?"

He had his eyes fixed on his hands. She wanted so badly for him to just look at her but he didn’t. His face remained fallen and his eyes on his hands as he mumbled, "It's nothing."

"Tell me." She whispered as she wondered if it would be okay to touch his hands. To take them in hers like she used to.

"No Liv." He said almost immediately.

Before she could think any more of it, she placed her hands on his and said,  "Please, just tell me."

The moment the warm soft skin on her palms touched the tops of his own he inhaled sharply. It had been months since he felt her hands on his. He almost forgot how wonderful it felt. He felt his heart pounding against his chest uncontrollably. He looked up into her big brown eyes and immediately snapped out of his daze. She wasn’t holding his hands because she loved him. No, it was because she wanted to know why he was so down. This display of affection was not meant to mean anything, he thought to himself. So he asked somewhat bitterly, "Why? Why do you all of a sudden care?"

She flinched slightly at his change in tone as her eyes widened in surprise. She was usually prepared for questions like that. She’d always reply with something that said she didn’t care but for some reason, the truth came out. She was completely honest with him. "I've always cared. You have no idea how much I care about you. You matter so much to me, Ben."

Her confession had his heart swelling to an impossible size that it felt like it was about to burst from his chest. He felt like he couldn’t breathe but in a good way. It was the kind of feeling you get when someone you love tells you they love you for the first time but slightly different. It had been so long since he felt something like this. He didn’t want this feeling to fade so he needed to know. He needed to know why she cared about him so much, "How much do you care about me?"

"What?" she asked with wide eyes.

"You heard me." He replied seriously not wavering.

"A lot. I care about you, a lot." She replied quietly.

"Why?" he pressed. "Tell me you care about me a lot. What's the reason?" he said even louder. "Say it."

"Ben, I can't. Don't make me be that girl. You're with Emily." She said as she tried to remove her hands from his.

This time he took a hold of her hands and didn’t let go, forcing her to look at him, "We're not together anymore, so say it."

She stared at him for a moment, falling deeper and deeper into the hazel pool of his eyes. Never in her life has she ever felt such a strong yearning and ache in her heart for any one person. He had always been the only person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with but she was always afraid to say it or make it known. Afraid of it someday being taken away from her. She always convinced herself that if she kept this feeling, this feeling of love, to herself, it could never be taken away from her. But now, she couldn’t hide it anymore. She always knew she could trust him. She always knew he wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt her. But she was never brave enough to just let him know that she loved him and only him. But she felt so brave at that moment. She had a strength in her that made her say, "I love you.” Her heart stopped, as well as his. She watched as his eyes brimmed with unshed tears like it was too emotional for him to handle inside his heart. There were unshed tears but he was smiling at her like he had never smiled before. Like he had been waiting all his life to hear something like that and that only gave her even more confidence to add,  “I've always-"  

Then suddenly, she felt his lips on hers. Moving slowly and sensually, his lips traced her own in a way that only sent tingles of delight throughout her body. His kiss, the way it felt, the way it made her feel, she missed it. She wondered how she managed to go months without it. His kiss, was something she knew she couldn't live without. She knew, from that moment on, she wouldn't let a day go by without his kiss. Not if she could help it. 

She felt his is lips slowly dettach from hers and she whimpered. She didn't want it to be over so she kept her eyes closed until she heard his voice as he whispered, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that." 

Gently, he pressed his forehead against hers as he cradled the back of her neck with his hand. The warm loving touch of his skin on hers made her open her eyes. Her eyes fluttered open to his emotional teary ones. He looked so happy and it was because of her. I did that, she thought to herself. She could not believe that she was responsible for his happiness. 

"I love you so much, Liv" he whispered. "So much"