Dog: Ruff
Carissa: I think she is talking out about the mom
Carissa: we should obtain firearms from the military base in our basement
Andy: I'm hungry can we get chipotle
Carissa: Okay.
Narrator: andy drives his sister to chipotle, even though he is 14. When Andy arrives he waits in a line containing 27 people until he finally orders a rice bowl containing cheese, lettuce, chicken, tomatoes, and of course rice. Carissa orders a tomato salad with mozzarella cheese.
Andy: I ordered a rice bowl containing cheese, lettuce, chicken, tomatoes, and of course rice.
Carissa: I ordered a tomato salad with mozzarella cheese.
Carissa: hey, is that Michael's DNA in our food
Andy: Uh, oh, I have AIDS.
Narrator: Andy panics as he drives home, trying not to touch Carissa. He tries not to touch Carissa. Carissa tries not to be touched. Andy touches the steering wheel. Andy tries not to touch Carissa.
Andy: we are going to crash and it is inevitable. We are going to land on that yellow car over there to break our horizontal fall
Narrator: Andy crashes into the yellow car
Carissa: will nobody announce that it is a day that draws bad luck to us
Carissa: I think that I am dead. If I die now, I will not be able to provide an efficient means of advancing the plot efficiently.
Alien: Now that I have finished my Rice Krispies, I will pulverize the entire planet earth with my pulverization techniques which I use to pulverize things that need to be pulverized by my pulverization device which pulverizes stuff.
Alien: you will be tested on by this pulverization device that I am performing tests with
Grandma: grandma came to the contact
Alien: what is the reason you have interrupted my extremely dramatic and intense scene in which I use my pulverization methods which contain using my pulverization device which pulverizes objects & planets that deserve to be pulverized by my pulverization methods which contain using my pulverization device which pulverizes objects and planets that deserve to be pulverized?
Grandma: long time no see whispergrasper
Alien: the phone shall be our first test with the pulverization device due to your interruptions
Grandma: your rice crispies happened
Alien: is that all you wanted to tell me about?
Grandma: yes
Alien: I shall hang up and say my goodbyes before I hang up and the phone shall not be pulverized with my pulverization device which pulverizes things.
Mom: I have cut the ropes that bind me and initiate the inability to harness the forces of motion
Narrator: the Alien, drawn to the communication device with his grandma, is oblivious to the otherwise obvious audio emissions from Mom
Mom: In this time of day I will currently walk out of of this bed in this time and I will try to silently walk out of here, but my ability to silence myself is impaired by the fact that I am currently narrating myself in a 2nd person fashion. Because of this fact I will now stop talking and I will attempt to silently walk out of this alien UFO.
Narrator: Mom is wearing a blue necklace
Narrator: Mom has tied shoelaces
Narrator: Mom checks to see if her shoes are tied
Mom: my shoes are perfectly knotted together as they should be in any event such as this one
Narrator: Mom has walked 32 steps today as the Fitbit shows
Alien: Earth is ready to be pulverized by my pulverizing device. I will attempt to commence the pulverization process of earth
Andy: Oh no, we're getting pulverized.
Candice: goodbye
Mom: I have recently jumped out of this alien UFO, escaping the aliens restriction on my ability to eat breakfast.
Mom: I hit the ground. Now I have severe scoliosis.
Narrator: Mom is at home because that is where all women in movies are at all times.
Mom: I have never gotten abducted by a UFO
Narrator: Carissa is in a car crash after suffering the tremendous effects of the concussion received from the coma
Carissa: Andy where are you
Carissa: i will convey emotion through tears in order to draw sympathy from the audience
Narrator: Andy's skin gains melanin as he walks in the sun, giving him a caramel appearance. This means andy is outside the car.
Andy: Where is carissa, my AIDS is getting stronger and there is a womb in my nose.
Carissa: Where is Andy my hair is getting tangled and dry. I need shampoo and conditioner.
Narrator: Carissa's hair is 48 inches long
Andy: If you stretch out the equator it wraps around the world exactly one time.
Carissa: Your voice is audible to me, Andy
Andy: You are audible to me as well, the noise is coming from the car that you are possibly, most likely under
Michael: i should not be here
Mom: I know how to destroy the aliens
Andy: Mom?
Carissa: what aliens?
Mom: I was never with the aliens
Mom: what are you talking about
Alien: strangers have stepped aboard the UFO which has been stepped on
Act 1
Start from the beginning
