Defining Family

Chapter 12

"We have some things to talk about," Anna says when I walk into the kitchen the next morning.

I sit down at the table. "I know." I notice Samantha isn't there, "Where's Sammy?"

"Upstairs."

"Oh." I'm starting to feel a little nervous. Did she change her mind? Or maybe she told Dylan and he wants me gone.

"Hey," I look up and meet Anna's gaze, "you're still not going anywhere."

I shake my head, "How do you do that?"

She just shrugs. "How are you feeling."

I put a hand over my stomach, "Not great."

She smiles, "That'll pass. Eventually."

"Yeah." I sigh, "You have questions." I knew this was coming.

"I do." She wipes her hands on a towel and walks over to sit down across from me. "Do you know who the father is?"

A tear rolls down my cheek, "Yeah."

She takes my hand, "Hey, it's okay."

I shake my head, "It's not. If you know...how could anyone possibly love someone like me. Someone this broken."

"Maddie..."

"My last foster father," I choke out. The tears are streaming down my face now.

Anna gasps. "Maddie," She whispers. "I'm so sorry." I nod, but I can't talk. "How long?"

"Four months ," I sob. I can't see her face right now, but I picture a mix of disgust and anger. Anger at me. I'm such a liar, I came to her house, I spent time with her daughter, and now she finds out I'm just a dirty, broken, low life, teen mother.

I keep crying. It feels like I'm always crying lately. I feel arms slip around me, I cry harder. She's still being nice to me. Why? It doesn't make sense.

"It's not your fault, Maddie," She whispers in my ear, "it's not."

I don't answer. But slowly I stop crying.
"You really believe that?"

She nods, "I do."

I shake my head, " I should have been able to stop him, I should have fought harder."

She kneels down in front of me, "It's not your fault. Listen to me, if you said no, even once, then he should have listened . Even if you didn't say no, a foster father? That's still statutory rape, no matter what."

"I said no." A few stray tears are still falling.

"I know. I know, baby."

"What am I going to do?"

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out, okay? I do know we need to get you to a doctor, soon. How far along do you think you are?"

"I shrug. It's been about four months since the first time." In that house, I add in my head.

She nods, "I'll make the call later today."

"Did you tell Dylan?"

"No, that's up to you. Who knows and when. Although in this particular situation there is some kind of a time limit on how long it will stay a secret."

For some reason this is completely hysterical and I start laughing. I haven't laughed this hard in a really long time. Anna laughs with me. Even though this situation isn't the least bit funny.

"What's so funny?" We look up, I'm near tears again, but the happy kind this time. It's Dylan, Samantha in his arms.

"Ummm..." I giggle, "Nothing." Anna looks at me, giving an almost imperceptable nod. She's not going to tell me what to do, she knows I need to do this my own way. Dylan nods, he's not going to pressure me either. This, oddly, makes me want to tell him. "I do have something I need to tell you."

"Okay." He replies.

I look at Anna, hoping she'll help. It's not like I have a lot of experience telling people I'm pregnant, I didn't even really tell her. She walks over and puts a hand on my shoulder.

There's been a long, uncomfortable silence at this point. "I'm kinda pregnant. I mean not kinda. Ummm..."

This is so weird. Dylan's face doesn't really change. He stares at me for a minute. His eyes darting over to his wife for a minute. "Okay..." it's obvious he doesn't know what exactly to say. He lets out a heavy sigh. "So...who's the father."

I wince, I look at Anna. I can't tell someone else, I'm not ready. She seems to see this, and walks over to her husband. She doesn't say it loudly, doesn't make me hear the ugly words. I send her I silent thank you, I might have broken down again if I had had to hear the words.

Dylan's whole face changes when he hears. Anger flares in his eyes and I dart backwards. Shrinking against the wall. I recognize that look. In my experience this ends with me covered in bruises. Anna sees my fear, she puts a hand on her husbands shoulder, "You're scaring her."

Dylan's eyes automatically soften, "Sorry, Maddie. I'm not going to hurt you. That damn man however is a different story."

"Don't. I don't want to have to think about him anymore. Please leave it."

"Maddie..." Dylan starts.

Anna cuts him off, "This is her battle to fight. We support whatever decisions she makes."

Dylan still looks dangerously angry. But he doesn't argue. Instead he holds out his hand. I hesitate, as close as I've gotten to Anna, touch still makes me uncomfortable. But I think of all their kindness. I have to try to open up a little more. I reach up and take his hand. He pulls me up and over to where he and Anna are standing. He gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "We're here, whatever you need."

I nod, "Thank you." For everything, I'm thinking.