*Erica Mena
“What you are doing boo?” Cyn asked as I laid across my warm bed
“Chilling, at the house.” I yawned
I haven’t talked to her in a few days due to dealing with Heaven and her BS.
“Oh for real. What you do today?” She asked
I never really talked on the phone with girls before, just because it was never my thing, but this was pretty cool. Cyn got me doing stuff I never really did with Heaven. I have yet to find out if that’s a good or bad thing.
“Uh nothing much, today I had an off day.” I said
I was too annoyed to deal with everybody’s crap so I just ain’t go into the office.
“Why you ain’t come see me then?” She asked
Since we’ve been hanging out I’ve been dropping by her job whenever she in there...but like I said I ain’t wanna really be bothered.
“I ain’t get around to it. I’m sorry bae.” I said
And I was...which I’m never, but I was. I ain’t hit her up in a few and I know that’s making her feel some type of way.
“You good, you can make up for it.” She said giggling
“Yeah?” I asked with an eyebrow raised
“Got my life planned out for me or something?” I joked
“I mean, I know it’s gone happen so..” She said
“What’s gone happen, since you be knowing.” I laughed
“You gone start feeling a kid, and I’ma have to let you down easy. Then you gone be heart broken.” She said as if she knew
“Word? I ain’t never have my heart broken by a girl.” I laughed
There is no way, that someone can break my heart again. No way.
“For real?” She asked getting serious
“Yeah for real.” I chuckled at her
She was always amazed at the stuff I said or the way I do certain stuff.
“Then how you know what real love is, if you never gotten your heart broken?” She asked a real good question that I did not have the answer too.
“I wouldn’t know. Beside love is suppose to heal, not hurt.” I said
“Yes that’s true, but you gotta go through certain things to know what works for you. It is Better to Have Loved and Lost Than Never to Have Loved at All.” She said making me sit up and think
“What do you mean?” I asked
“Ok, for instance I love my boyfriend and everything great that’s pretty much happened in my life, was because of him. But we’re drifting apart, and I’m starting to think that he’s cheating on me, and not to say that I’m fine with because I’m not I’m saying I’m fine if we break up because I rather lose this love then to not have loved him at all. And I don’t wanna say I’m not mad at him because I am...But I can’t stay mad for the rest of my life because a lot of good has came from him.” She explained and I ain’t gone lie that had me low-key jealous not because of him, but because I wish my brain worked like that. I wish I could forgive my baby father, the way she forgives her dude. But we’re two different people with two different situations.
“Wow, you just made me look at relationships in a whole new way.” I said
Like I said before I love Heaven, but I’m not in love with her, but that doesn’t mean I should treat her any less than what she is. And that’s my girlfriend.
“And what is it making you see?” She asked moving around. She was at work tonight.
“I mean since we being honest. I love my girl, but I’m not in love with her.” She cut me off
“Why?” She asked quickly
“Because we’ve been together for about three years and within that time, I just lost love for her.” I said
“Okay, continue.” She replied
“But as much as I wanna work it out with her, I’m torn between staying or leaving. I don’t wanna be somewhere where my heart isn’t.” I broke it down
“Well where is your heart?” She asked yet again another good question. She was on a roll tonight.
“I’m not sure, and I don’t wanna hurt her trying to find it.” I spoke as the t.v watched me
“That’s brave of you to admit.” She giggled with her cute self
“There’s a heart in here somewhere.” I pointed to myself as if she could see me.
“I bet there is, you just gotta find someone you think is worth sharing it with.” She said
“I think Heaven is worth sharing it with, I just think she can do better.” I said sounding like Drake
“And why you think you’re not better?” She asked
“Because just we’ve been through so much already. Like I don’t know.” I moved my shoulder up and down
“Then that should be one of the reasons you should stay.” She replied
“As much as I want too, I can’t. My heart just don’t live here anymore.” I shook my head
“Well babe, that’s ok at least you know. I say you take some time to find where your heart wishes to be and do what’s best for you. And if she can’t understand that then she’s not right for you. You can do better.” She said yet again making me think.
“You know you’re really smart.” I said
“Why thank you. I go to school for this type of stuff.” She laughed
“I hope you don’t pick apart my brain.” I said honestly
“Never I could only help you.” She said as if she was some doctor
“You ready for the ride of y’all life?” I asked
It’s gonne be a ride indeed.
“Only if you ready ya self. I can be quite addictive.” She said laughing cutely on the other end
“I mean you got me hooked.” I nodded laughing myself
*****
>Erica’s apartment is in the sidebar, she lives in a studio apartment.
>At least 20 comments, and I’ll post again.
