That One Summer 《 Vmin 》

Chapter 54

Each day I wrote a message to him, my weak replacements of having conversations with him, and add it with a picture to recall on. To draw back to the good memories I should've cherished more, before his life got more fucked up than it already had been, and his presence was just simple entertainment and enjoyment for me.

Every sunrise to sunset has been a photo with a story behind it, and even though the days go on, it still feels like I'm living in the past. Time stops every moment he's not around me, close to me, hugging me, and things become dark like it always used to be.

He's showed me the light no matter how murky his life has been, and without him I'm drowning in that abyss again. I need him to be with me, and I feel so lifeless without him next to me.

I know I'm being stupid in some eyes, too young to feel so beaten down, so lost, but I can't help it. He's my happiness, my energy, what I look forward to everyday.

Kim Taehyung is my personal addiction; my own world.

His gaze, features, emotions, hair, body, words, touch, laugh, smile, and tears intoxicate my entire being that he's even becoming the oxygen I breathe.

I feel like nothing without him.

So alone like this I'm trapped with terrible thoughts. Thoughts of depression and anxiety, words that claw at my mentality every dark passing day.

Laying on his bed, I grab my head in almost pain; a painful feeling I get thinking about the reason. The reason that he's not by my side at the moment, that he's gone without a trace. My breathing is harsh and choppy, unable to get air through my windpipe with ease.

Because both of them are horrible situations, blood draining thoughts that could be reality. But no matter how frightening the first one is to think about, Im petrified for the other one to be true.

I bury my head in his pillow, hoping that his smell can soothe my anxiety attack, and though it calmed me down, I feel tears fighting to drain out the corner of my eyes. I hate thinking that.

That we have some robbery and he got taken against his will?

Or did he chose to leave me?

—-

A faded knock touches my eardrums, my eyes feeling heavy as they open. Laying limp on my side, I blink, and I can't tell if I fell asleep or I just blinked for a long time. My head throbs excruciatingly as I lay half awake, or half dead.

"Jimin?" I hear in the most familiar muffled voice on the other side of the door, but I don't answer. I don't feel to speak, words just seem too troubling to form. Going through this everyday is just like pressing repeat on a movie. Same thing with no different outcome. I know what she'll say.

"Please come eat."

The same words each day, and I'm growing tired of it. I don't have an appetite at the moment; I don't feel to eat, or sleep, or speak, or sometimes even to breathe.

What's the point of answering when I know it's not the answer she wants.

So I just don't move, I don't show any signs of a living life form, and just wish for her to do pass me on. Let me be in the dark, let me be alone.

But as sick and tired I feel, resonating sniffles tumble out from the other side of the wooden barrier, and that causes me to move. Getting up I walk to door, dreading every second of caring when I just wanted to not care.

"I'm not hungry mum." I tell her quietly through the door, keeping some distance between me and it. I didn't want to touch it.

"Open the door."