brontide ; stranger things

FOURTEEN

Monachopsis (n.)

the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place

-Collie's Word of the Day #23

•••

  THE woman, who had introduced herself as Becky Ives, Terry's sister, slowly led Eleven and Collie to the living room, where the television played loudly. Their hands intertwined, the two girls rounded the corner and stopped in the doorway.

  Sitting in a rocking chair and watching the TV was Terry Ives, though she was much different than what Collie imagined. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and she wore a cardigan over a floral dress, her glazed eyes boring into the television. She mumbled under her breath, not even seeming to notice the two new people in the room.

  Eleven let go of Collie's hand and took a few steps forward, her eyes soft and sad. Collie could practically feel the sorrow and confusion radiating off of the young girl, only adding to the tension that clouded the room.

  "Mama?" Eleven asked as she hesitantly padded forward. "Mama? Can you hear me?" She kneeled before her mother, searching for any sign of recognition. "It's me. Jane." Eleven placed her hand atop Terry's, causing her to slowly turn and pause her mumbling. A moment of hopeful silence passed until Terry continued to murmur,

  "Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. 450." Eleven turned to Becky and Collie, distraught. She questioned in a strained voice,

  "What's wrong with Mama?"

•••

  Later that afternoon, Becky, Collie, and Eleven sat at the kitchen table with lunch, though neither of the girls had touched their food. Eleven was completely despondent, staring into the other room at her mother and seeming to shut out the world entirely.

  Collie watched the younger girl in concern, unsure of what she was thinking. Fingering the hem of her jacket, she switched her gaze to Becky when she said,

  "I'm gonna need some help understanding, sweetheart. Can you tell me where you two came from?"

  "Hawkins," Collie replied. The thought of home caused the weight in her chest to become heavier, a million thoughts running through her mind of the whirlwind of chaos she'd created the last few days.

  "Where..." Becky sighed, looking to Eleven. "Where has Jane been all these years? Where have you been?" Collie held her breath, not wanting to answer the question. To her relief, Eleven cut into the conversation,

  "She won't get better... will she?" Her gaze was set intent on Terry, never wavering. Becky exhaled heavily, resting her head in her hand.

  "No, they don't think so, sweetie. But she's not in any pain. She's just stuck. Like... like she's in a dream. A long dream." A long dream. Collie liked the sound of that. No more problems or troubles or things weighing her down. It seemed nice.

  "The same dream?" Eleven tilted her head in question. Becky glanced down at the table and shook her head slightly.

  "We don't know. Sometimes she says different words, but usually though..." She trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. Eleven gazed at Terry, heaving in breaths as her eyes faded pink, signaling she was about to cry. Collie quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it, trying to calm her down.

  Becky leaned forward across the table and said softly, "She always believed you were out there. She always believed you'd come home one day." Eleven finally looked over at the woman and pinched her eyebrows together.

  "...Home?"

  "Yeah, home."

  After Becky had taken Eleven upstairs to show her the old room that was meant for her as a child, Collie sat alone at the kitchen table. She stared at an empty space in the distance, lost in her thoughts that thundered violently in her head.

  Heavy guilt consumed her, bringing tears to her eyes if she didn't keep them at bay. She imagined that by now Jonathan and Nancy were going insane looking for her and trying to find where she had gone. Part of her wished she hadn't left them at Murray's, though the other part knew that Eleven needed her desperately.

  Another thought that plagued her mind was the fight she'd had with Hopper. Looking back on what she did, she immensely regretted her actions. Though what he'd said was hurtful as well, she longed to go back and apologize and cry and have him hold her. He'd been the first parent figure in her life since Eleanor that she'd trusted, and now she'd gone and messed it up.

  Collie looked up and glanced around the kitchen silently. That was the other problem. Monachopsis crept upon her the longer she was in the Ives house. These people were a family; Jane, Becky, and Terry. Collie didn't belong here. She didn't belong anywhere.

  Just as Collie went to put her head down on the table, the lights around her began to flicker softly. Lifting her gaze, she gazed at the lights as they flicked on and off one by one, almost seeming to lead a trail.

  Eleven emerged from the stairs with Becky hot on her heels, quickly following the lights. Rising to her feet, Collie trailed after the younger girl as she stopped before a small lamp.

  "Girls, really," Becky said, confused as to why they were so fascinated by the flickering, "it's just the wiring."

  "No," said Eleven. She turned to the living room and quickly strode to Terry's side, kneeling before her. "It's Mama." Terry mumbled the same things under her breath as from before, her eyes open but not seeing anything.

  "Breathe. Sunflower. Rainbow. 450. Three to the right, four to the left." Collie and Becky watched as Eleven reached over and wiped away a small spot of blood that dripped from her mother's nose.

  "Eleven?" Collie asked, taking a few steps forward. Shaking her head a bit, Becky said,

  "I don't understand."

  "She knows I'm here," said Eleven. Suddenly, the television began to change channels by itself, getting faster and faster until the screen went blank with static. Eleven got to her feet and padded towards it, her eyes wide. "She wants to talk."

  Following Eleven's directions, Becky quickly cut up a dish towel into two strips, holding them up for the girls to see.

  "Like this?" she asked.

  "Yes." Eleven nodded. Together, Eleven and Collie kneeled before Terry, tying the strips of cloth around their eyes. Collie's vision was obscured by darkness, though she was reminded that she was not alone by Eleven's hand finding hers.

  Collie had never done this before, so she wasn't sure what to do. Behind her blindfold, she allowed her eyelids to drift closed.

  "Reach out," Eleven instructed the elder girl. "Focus on who you are finding." Collie focused on the image of Terry, trying to reach out and connect to her. After a few moments of straining, her senses began to melt away until she was left with nothing, just a head full of heavy thoughts.