Broken

*Chapter 04|Dinner*

"Okay, I'm going to run you a bath, then we are going to get you clean and heal your wounds," Jasmine said with a smile. Her eyes lingered on my arms for a second too long and stared at the old scars on my skin. I crossed my hands on my chest to cover them.

"What are you looking at?"

*****

"What happened?" Blake stepped into the room with the others on his trail, all but Asher and Zoe. He glanced at me and Jasmine in confusion. "Clara is acting like a mad woman out there."

"Nothing," Jasmine started without glancing up at him as she rummaged through the first aid box. "She just cut herself, that's all," that wasn't a lie.

"How-"

"Is the blood gone?" I heard Clara ask through the door and I relaxed when he turned to it as well. No more questions.

"Yep. It's all gone," Shawn said and Clara came into the room cautiously, her eyes glanced at everyone, but when they land on me, she smiles.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly as she sat next to me on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I lie. Im not fine. Im tired, angry and frustrated at myself. My head is aching, my limbs are sore and my eyes are burning.

My hands twitched for something sharp, anything sharp. I should have cut deeper, I shouldn't have been so patient.

"Give me your hands," Jasmine said. I hesitated.

"I don't need that," I argue. "I'll be fine."

Jasmine sighed. "You're a very stubborn girl, you know that right?" I only shrugged in response. "I'll make it quick, you won't feel a thing. I promise."

I didn't really care about the pain. I just don't want anyone to see or touch my scars, they are a part of me. Each one holds a memory, touching them could trigger me.

She brings her hands closer and I draw my hand back, "I said I'm fine."

She gives me a look making me let out a small groan of defeat and give her my wrists. Clara gasped quietly from beside me, but thankfully didn't say anything.

Jasmine carefully rubbed ointment on my fresh wounds. She bandaged my hand and I let my head fall on the pillow. I looked around and noticed everyone giving me weird looks.

"What?" I snapped as I shifted uncomfortably into a sitting position.

"What's your surname Bianca?" Blake asked, I shrugged.

"Why do you want to know?" I ask him, feeling suspicious.

He shrugged. "Curious."

"Bianca Ryan." I lie. "Why is it so important?"

He crossed his arms and shrugged, he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at my answer. "No reason."

"Does it hurt?" Caleb asked referring to my bandaged wounds. Clara rolled her eyes.

"Of course it doesn't Caleb, she's having the time of her life!" She said sarcastically.

"It doesn't," I pipe in with all seriousness, Clara glances at me in surprise.

"Not even a little?" Clara asked. I nodded. "How so?"

I shrug nonchalantly. "I guess if you've felt so much pain you become numb to it, you become numb to everything. Even your emotions, I say honestly and look down at the sheets, letting my deep thoughts consume me.

Sometimes, I could just stare at the wall all day counting seconds. The nightmares and sleepless nights have destroyed me even more. I can't feel and I can't do anything about it. I am dirty and ashamed of my body because of how much I've been abused and tortured.