The Traveler [h.s. au]

4.*

I guess when you call someone enough and leave voicemail after voicemail, that person is bound to turn their phone off completely. At least that's what Charlie has done. I've been trying to get a hold of her for almost a week. I thought she was only going out for a few hours to clear her head, but when she showed back up at our place ready to pack her bags, I knew this fight isn't like the rest.

In the two years we've been together, I would definitely say we have had our fair share of fights. I would say something, she would say something, one of us would leave for an hour or two, then we'd come back ready to move forward. It was hard to watch her walk out that door this time, not know if she's going to come back. Charlie was and still is the girl I see myself marrying. She's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We have gone through worse times than this. But when your boyfriend doesn't admit to you being enough for him, I can understand why she left.

Rolling over on the couch (because there's no way I can sleep in our bed without Charlie), I reach for the remote to turn off the T.V. I was watching the fourth Harry Potter movie when I felt myself drifting off. Now, it's half past two in the morning, and some shark movie is on. I'm about to doze off again when I feel my phone buzzing under my pillow.

"Hello?" I answer without opening my eyes and checking the caller ID.

"Hi, Harry," my eyes open in shock as her sweet voice comes through the other line.

"Charlie, hey. Is everything okay?" Not only is she finally calling me back after days of me reaching out to her, but she's doing it in the middle of the night. Something has to be really wrong for her to do that...right?

"Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine," she pauses, and I hear her take a deep breath. "No, actually everything is not fine. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I've called out sick from the salon everyday this week because I can barely get out of bed. I'm broken, Harry."

"I'm so - I'm so sorry, Charlie. I don't know what I was thinking when I let you walk out the door. I should have told you then how much you mean to me." I find myself sitting up and turning on the lamp next to me. "You are enough. You always have been."

"I just don't know if I can believe you. During these past couple months, you have completely lost who you are. You're no longer the Harry I've always known, so how can I trust that you really mean what you say? If I really am enough, then you would have proven it. A few phone calls here and there aren't proof. Actions speak louder than words." I hear it in Charlie's voice how much she's trying to hold back the tears as if this isn't the first time she's cried this week.

I rub my hand over my face out of frustration of not being able to be there to comfort her. "Then please come home and let me prove it to you through my actions."

"I can't. I tried - I tried really hard to be on your side and be there for you, but you just pushed me away. I can't handle being pushed away anymore." She finally lets the tears loose. "I want someone who thinks I'm always enough today, tomorrow, and forever."

"Charlie, I do think that. I do want you and -"

"No," she stops me. "Please, just no more. I just wanted to call you to get this off my chest so I can finally go back to being myself again. I love you, Harry, and I think I always will. But I have to say goodbye. I have to end this or else I will never be able to move on."

"Wait, you can't say goodbye," I can't let her leave. I have to do something. "Charlie, will you -" the click of her hanging up echoes through the phone. "Marry me."

Without thinking, I throw my phone across the living room, slamming it against the hardwoods and causing the screen to crack. Fuck that phone. Fuck this place. Fuck everything. I don't even know who I'm more pissed off at. Myself for letting my relationship with Charlie get to this point or Charlie for leaving me. I mean, how can she just let everything we have go? We are meant for each other. We complete each other. We are the only ones who can handle each other's crap.

I just don't get it.

For a split second, the thought of grabbing the engagement ring from my sock drawer and going after Charlie to ask her to marry me crosses my mind. Then I realize just as quickly that I have no idea where she ran off to. She could be at a number of friends' houses or a few towns over at her parents' home. I could call everyone and track her down, but what good would that do? She's already made her mind that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, so why should I keep trying? Why is she even the one that gets to leave? Why can't I call it quits to everything? I should be able to say goodbye to all the debt this relationship has created.

In fact...

I spot my wallet in the kitchen and grab it, dumping out all of its contents onto the counter. The bright red and blue credit cards stand out immediately, calling for me to grab those plastic devils first.

"We can't pay our stupid ass bills, huh? How about we just get rid of them completely?" Mumbling to myself, I make my way to the junk drawer with the scissors. "There. One down, two to go." I watch the pieces of my first credit card fall to the floor. I know this doesn't get rid of my problems entirely, but it's definitely therapeutic.

Seeing all the pieces on the floor, I'm reminded of how my relationship looks the exact same - broken, and it pisses me off more. With adrenaline pumping through me as if I just downed too many shots of espresso, I know there's no way I can go to sleep now. I reach for the keys off the coffee table, knocking over the lamp in the process. Normally, I'd feel bad for doing so, but it oddly feels good.

"Hmm. I guess that means no more lights to pay for," I say to no one. Charlie was the one to pick it out, and I never had the heart to tell her it was the ugliest lamp I'd ever seen. That actually isn't the only thing I think is fucking ugly in this house.

Grabbing the stupid knick-knacks off the book shelves, I slam each one into the ground. Each one breaks into various little pieces. I always thought having these things were so useless and stupid. No one needs this many glass bowls full of fake flowers. As I go for the last one, I end up throwing this one towards the wall and hitting directly in the center of the T.V. Within seconds, the T.V. falls off the wall and smashes on the floor. Somehow, it doesn't even phase me.

"Well, no need to pay for cable now."

Staggering backwards, I can't help but to stare at the mess around me. Not an ounce of regret or remorse runs through me, but I have come up with an idea. I step over the small shards of glass and rush up to my room. Since I won't be needing the engagement ring I bought for Charlie anymore, I can sell it to buy my way somewhere else that's anywhere but here.

___

"I just need a ticket to the next flight that's taking off. I'll take anything," The Heathrow Airport employee is taken back as I rush up to the check-in station, practically demanding a plane ticket. "Please?"

"Are you sure, sir?" The employee asks while trying to hide the fact that she's becoming flustered. I nod my head. "Okay, so the next flight seems to be..."

She clicks a few keys on her keyboard then a few times on her mouse before coming to a stop. With every second that goes by the more anxious I become. My heart pounds against my chest like a hammer in anticipation of where I'm going to be starting my new life.

"Well? Anything? I told you that it could literally be anywhere in the world."

"Hold on, sir," She tries to pull a professional smile, but I can easily see that I'm beginning to aggravate her. "The next flight is to South Carolina in the United States, and it's going to begin boarding in about fifteen minutes. If that is where you choose to-"

"Sounds perfect. How much is it?" I interrupt her. "And make sure it's a one way ticket. I have zero plans of ever coming back."