Simply thoughts.

Drinking kills

One drink. Two drinks. Three drinks.

Fast forward

Lost count but pretty sure I surpassed the eighth drink a while ago.

I feel embarrassed and insecure the day after from all the antics this legal drug brings forward but it's all forgotten because I was just having fun, right?

Well, no. Slowly killing myself spiritually, mentally and physically beer after beer, shot after shot, drink after drink. It stops now. Drinking only on the weekends doesn't make me any less of a binge drinker who's probably on the brink of alcoholism.

Today I woke up feeling like I was dying, puking my guts out due to how much I drank yesterday. My friends don't even believe me when I tell them I want to stop, claiming "You always say that and never stop" but I do. I drink once a week, sometimes twice depending on the occasion and there are times when I prefer to stay at home and not drink so I have gotten better.

And no, I'm not making up excuses but I am human though. I have slip-ups. Yesterday was one but those slip-ups stop NOW. Not remembering stuff isn't fun, think of the things that could happen. I'm a really optimistic person and believe that the energy you put out into the universe is what you get back but still caution is needed.

The other day a guy died from alcohol intoxication and you have gone through unpleasant stuff due to alcohol so what other signal are you waiting from the universe? Something you might not be able to solve? It just isn't worth it.

It's time to prove yourself that you can have fun, you can socialize, you can dance, you can do anything without being shitfaced.

It's an addiction. Just like cocaine, just like cigarettes. People don't see it that way until you explain it to them when they disregard your efforts at setting boundaries. It takes time but I'll get there. My social anxiety and unexplainable need won't get me killed nor fuck things up for me. Slowly but surely I'll get there.